expressions

Feel good!

2012-02-07T23:47:00.001+05:30

Dear Blog, did you see the time and effort I spent to give you a new fresh look? Don't you feel all pepped up in purple? Though the maple leaf looked extremely graceful but then it was some time so I thought that may be you wanted a change and I see you are loving it. Bright and beautiful. You know what, dear blog, it is very important to pamper yourself. When I am bored of myself and I want to feel good, I get a brand new haircut, wear a happy dress, funky shoes and put on a charming lip glossy smile. These seemingly random things give such happiness in this marathon running world of cribbing and cursing, that I can't even explain.

I usually refrain from prescribing stuff but dear blog readers, if any, please try my feel good therapy, the one explained above. For starters, if you feel that getting a funny hair cut has too much of risk involved then I will give you a simple one to begin with. When caught in the middle of bad traffic, put on the ear plugs or the music system (as per your preference) and sing, as loudly as you want to, try doing a small jig too (remember the car is not moving) and give a dazzling smile to the person in the next car. Its going to be awesome, trust me. If this really goes bad, I mean lets say the worst case scenario, you will only get a befuddled look back, the song and jig still remains yours and you can feel proud to be a patient happy member of the crazy city roads. And in most likelihood if it goes well, the person will smile back at you and you will feel doubly good about yourself.

Now, dear blog readers I realize that this post is becoming painstakingly long, but please just one last advice, and its the feel good advice so don't ditch now, come on! Ok, I will keep it terse: drop in compliments here and there, here meaning give compliments to yourself and there meaning give compliments to other people. I can bet (a friendly one of course) that this shall work and you the rare blog reader will come back and say thank you! (Be optimistic, feel good :D)

The joy of cooking

2012-02-04T21:23:00.006+05:30

I have never been one of those girls who help mommy with the cooking stuff, on the contrary I would always be seen lazing around with a book or laptop but never ever in the kitchen. I found the entire concept of thinking, cooking, eating and then thinking again for the next meal tiresome and boring but now, all of that is history.

I don't exactly remember the trigger but I know for a fact that I was itching to cook and so I pressed daddy cool to get all different veggies, coaxed mommy to take all her old cookery books out and I began thinking on what I wanted to cook: Indian , Italian, Chinese, Mughlai, Tandoori. I finally decided on a couple of different things and began the grand cooking plan. What a great feeling it is, to clean, chop, butter, marinate, bake, deep fry, grill. When something raw, takes a form and shape that is beautiful, I get excited. But, the ultimate satisfaction is when a loved one appreciates and says "its delicious"

Beautiful is..

2012-01-22T21:33:00.003+05:30

Beautiful is..

The money plant having drops of dew

The stars lit night with moon blue

Beautiful is..

A chubby child's angelic smile

The rain drops which wets a mile

Beautiful is..

The rainbow in the sky above

The early morning chirping of doves

Beautiful is..

The inimitable serenity of sea

The first kiss under a tree

Beautiful is..

The yellow butterfly on a red rose

And yes may be this little prose :)

Dear Blog, I was going through my diary in which I used to write poems way back in the year 2000 and I had the urge to put this one up here, I hope you will not mind my childishness!

Clicked!

2012-01-19T22:37:00.003+05:30

Last few days, I made my mommy go crazy as I went about selecting and rejecting the pictures I would put in our house. On my parents bed, was a pile of photographs from my childhood, birthdays, their honeymoon, marriage, holidays and the rest. I sifted through each album many times over before zeroing on the ones which I like the best. I then headed straight for the photographer's shop and asked him to resize the photos, so that they would fit well in the various photo frames I had collected. He got them perfectly done and what I delight it was to see them, to put them carefully in photo frames and finally finding the perfect space for placing them.

Pictures give a whiff of the beautiful past and I love the concept of having pictures clicked today for whatever silly reason possible. As much as this moment may seem like just another day, another time, 20 years from hence or even 2 years from now, it will be a different place, different world and all that will remain of today will be those pictures. We move so fast, one relationship to the other, one job to the next, one holiday and then another, how can one remain sane and remember all that happened in this big beautiful world.

Thank you the great soul who invented the camera, I and Facebook will always remain indebted!

2011>>>2012

2012-01-03T23:40:00.004+05:30

New Year is the time of the year when people exchange greetings quite enthusiastically and I am one of those super enthusiastic ones whom you will find in office canteen, in malls, in parking lots generally smiling and passing the "Happy New Year" look. People also very graciously ask and tell about the New Year resolutions and as much as I am all in for the resolutions, I usually also look back at the Old Year and make a mental note of good - bad things that happened. The Old Year at least deserves a mention, right?

Anyway so when I was doing the same for 2011, all the things that came to my mind were either to do with people, places or experiences. Top of the mind recall were: my Kerala trip with mommy daddy, Jagjit Singh Live in concert with H, euphoria of India winning the world cup, luncheon with my girlies on Valentines, run up to VBs wedding, an evening with AS in Noida, a morning breakfast in Candies, a bachelorette of a friend, a book I read (the color purple), a movie date with daddy cool, a song dedicated by my little cousin, a mid night buffet with my school time buddies and a dress which I randomly bought as a gift to myself. All of this and much more tells me that it is these moments small and big in which we live. Days, months and years pass by but there will always be times to cherish.

Yes yes, I know New Year, you are craving for attention and so here my dear blog for the sake of record I write about the well crafted and thought through New Year resolution. It is called Mission 26 and along with the fancy name comes a lot of hard work namely regular exercise and quitting junk but going by my past three days record, it seems like I will take an eternity to accomplish this and not just the New Year. Though I must give credit to myself for at least taking the stairs both at office and home but If only, this works! I know Mission 26 is tough and that on New Year there is performance pressure but lets see baby, where you take me. Love.

2011-12-29T20:09:00.001+05:30

I love hearing love stories, listening to love songs, reading love notes and seeing pictures of all people in love. And the simple reason of why I would do this is that I like to keep myself happy and what can you make happier than love or even the sight of love. There is also another reason and though it might be difficult to see direct correlation, I will try and put across my point. These anecdotes, songs and pictures which make my heart go mush help me keep faith in this love deprived world where a lot of times I have apprehensions as to whom I will end up with. I mean I know so many guys who would not just smirk at the idea of romance but also ridicule the entire purpose of being in love with someone. And then one fine day, I get to know that they are in love and it is not the “we are friends” love but pretty much “I am crazy for her” love. It amazes me and makes me insanely happy, how cool, if this moron friend who couldn't talk straight to someone has fallen in love with this girl next door then even if a moron falls in for me and vice versa life will be good!

Actually, come to think of it, I recall way too many boys and girls who to my mind can never ever be in love. They were either too headstrong or too weird or too non emotional to be falling in for such crazy chemicals but they proved me wrong and wrong to an extent that I am forced to contemplate my limited understanding of people. Take, for example, this boy in my class who is sweet but his mind is wired in a way that can think only of puzzles and equations. We all treated him as if he was in school and would at least take 20 more years to be able to appreciate or acknowledge any girl but guess what I get to know furtively that this guy was not just dating a smart girl from my class but also is serious about it. In no time, they got hitched and buffoons like me looked at pictures and went awwwed. Then another one, this one I met in my first job and he is to put it succinctly the biggest narcissist world would ever know. He would casually mention, “Ms Dua, with the Greek God kind of looks I have, I will have to wait for a very long time before a super model comes along”. I would laugh at him and think in my head, when on earth he will get serious and settle down. He is the typical, flirt-with-me but I-will-never-marry-you kinds. In fact, I have seen him convincing his friends about how getting married is equivalent to committing suicide but then that was that, and again to my great grand amazement, he was secretly dating this cute girl who also worked with us. I almost fainted and then smiled gleefully knowing that another one knocked out. Also, if I missed mentioning it, he too is getting married and sounds immensely elated with the prospect. My school time buddy who used to protect me from boys and thought they were some lesser mortals, who should never even be spoken to, today keeps cribbing that her fiancée doesn’t speak much!! And finally, my darling friend whom I claim to know inside out has also turned out to be I-am-your-wife and should I serve you a little more on the dining table. I mean if VB: the strong headed, individualistic, pampered girl can start talking like this then definitely it has to do with love.

All of above only provides me with this happy reassuring feeling that for each one there is at least one who will love like there is no end. There will be one which will carve out a new story, sweet silly poems and happy pictures J

Blanket Distribution

2011-12-16T21:29:00.000+05:30

I went last night with two guys for distributing blankets to people who in this freezing cold sleep or rather remain awake in the night. It was an experience quite different to anything I have ever had in life. We went about taking shady roads, looking sideways, trying to find makeshift shelters, for people who needed our blankets. People whom we finally gave blankets were astonished and asked why are we doing this, they looked at us either with suspicion or with surprise. We only smiled and told them to use them and cover themselves properly. It was a feeling of immense satisfaction personally for me as I am someone who covers from head to toe, in layers of clothes and loves the winters. I cannot imagine the feeling of constantly feeling cold and living on the roads and pavements. Hence, I won’t even try defining it, I only hope that these blankets help them tide over these lovely winters the way mine do.

Bike rides

2011-11-27T22:58:00.004+05:30

This love affair of mine started when I was probably four, my Chachu in Roorkee was a crazy-for-motorcycle-teenager and I was his little Miss India so he would always take his Miss India on long bike rides and even let her accelerate once in a while. It is such a beautiful memory still. In fact, I distinctly even remember him once getting scolded by my grandmother because we came home drenched after a ride in the rain.

Like many other things that one forgets and moves on, bike rides were one such thing. My Chachu grew up to be a responsible husband and father and his Miss India grew up to be a sincere and non adventurous girl and so life went on without any thrill, any wild romance.

Then one day, it came back, out of the blue. I with my friends had gone to Mt Abu for a trip and thanks to a few biking enthusiasts, we took 3 motorcycles on rent and went round n round in circles around the Nakki lake. It was refreshing to the core and I loved each nanosecond of those rides, the trip was over but the love for bike rides was renewed.

From that day till today, I have been looking out for opportunities and people so that I could get a ride and what wonderful rides I have got. Only yesterday, a colleague took me for a ride to India Gate. His bullet makes this ear-drum-breaking-noise which I lovingly call soulful music now, the sheepish me also told him, be a tad bit fast so that I could get a jump on the speed breaker and whoa what a kick I got! I mean it was just out of the world, by the time my ride ended I came to realize that I love bike rides, I love the wind kissing my cheeks and blowing my hair, I love the feeling of being free, of being uninhibited on the roads and that I Wish I could do this more often and by myself K

2011-11-24T23:08:00.003+05:30

I endearingly call her my favourite aunty for she is beautiful, affectionate and my mommy’s close friend. She and her husband looked like this picture perfect couple, handsome, stunningly dressed and flamboyant. But my mommy said, they aren’t half as good as they look for they don’t have any children of their own. It was sad as both of them wanted to have kids but infertility and its lack of acceptance for a long time had put age behind them. Adoption, I thought in my head, can’t they adopt a child, wouldn’t it solve everything which entangled them, wouldn’t it make their lives happier, wouldn’t it give a new lease of life to someone somewhere. But I couldn’t ask her, when the question continued to bother me, I asked mommy. She told me that favorite aunty wanted to adopt but uncle wouldn’t ever agree, but didn’t he also want a child, yes he did she said but again to love a child like you would love a child of your own is not as plain as it sounds. He would rather lead his life without knowing the joy of being a father than trying to be a father of someone else’s child.

One day a few years later, favourite aunty called mommy and said “Alka, you are a maasi”. My mommy couldn’t get the import of it and it took her two minutes to realize what that statement meant. Soon, there was a smile in my mommy’s eyes, yes the favorite aunty and uncle had adopted a child. An infant had come in their home, from a faraway place. But I didn’t understand, why now after twenty years of marriage, why now when all these years he wasn’t convinced about adoption, when did this change of heart happen and why. What favourite aunty told was an unbelievable fable to the ears. She and uncle were holidaying in Assam at her sisters’ place, the sister casually mentioned about a young couple getting separated and leaving an infant under the custody of an old woman (the child’s grandmother). The sister lamented for the child and left it there but the favorite aunty didn’t. Surprisingly, even the uncle didn’t leave it there, didn’t he always want a child. In no time, favorite aunty and uncle met the child’s grandmother, the legal formalities got completed and when they returned from the sister’s place, it wasn’t just the two of them but a third one, who through his big eyes stared at his new house and parents.

Mommy told us this and we rushed to meet her and the child, oh what a bundle of joy he was. Fair complexion, ruddy face, thick hair, everyone said he resembled uncle and he really did. In a few days, he also started managing their lives, sleeping pattern, eating ways, all of it was dependent on this little boy who was their son. He is now a naughty boy of five and the darling of his father who once thought that all that mattered was his blood and his wife’s womb. When I remember all this today, it forces me to believe something which my grandmother says with all the conviction she has: the people we meet, love, lose, cry for are the people we are meant to..

Winters

2011-11-18T22:10:00.004+05:30

Oh I love the winters chill

But sadly some they kill

While I get cosy in my soft quilt

They shiver in the cruel wind

When I bathe in the luxury of hot

Sometimes snub at the dirty lot

I sleep in the cold; carefree like a queen

But for them it is an elusive dream

For I have a house, a room, a bed

And the other side just a rickety shed

A small thought and a share of your wallet

Is all that’s needed to give needy a blanket

For that poor might also sleep

And we smile at our lil good deed

So, come one and come all

Let’s make this winter as beautiful as fall!

Genesis - I got to know about the Blanket Distribution Drive in Delhi being spearheaded by a group of IIM Ahmedabad graduates and that is what triggered me to write the above poem. Please get in touch with me at neha.dua86@gmail.com in case you would want to be a part of this drive.

Nikita - The wonder girl (Part 2)

2011-10-27T19:08:00.004+05:30

I called her the other day when I needed some information on BoB. She still has the same melodic voice and I felt instantly guilty of how irritated I often sound on the phone. Anyway, I quickly started telling her who I am as I thought she would have forgotten me but no she hadn't. She vividly remembered everything about our interaction way back when I was in Mumbai. It was only I who had kept the memory of her at the back of my mind. She was disappointed with me and of course she has all the right to be, I hadn't called her since the time I came back from Mumbai neither did I share my number. I apologized earnestly and asked what she has been upto all this while. She told me shyly that she got married in June. Now, my mind started racing in all directions - whom she got married to, how is she coping up with, where does she live and what not. But before even I could begin to ask her, the ever ebullient girl she is, she started telling me about her fairy tale. Girl met boy in office, same project, same aspirations, blossoming of love and culmination in marriage. I mean I was zapped, I could not begin to tell her how this new beginning in her life has touched me. Its so simple, clear like crystal. This girl who cannot see the world, touched someone's heart in her own sweet way and got betrothed for life :)

The Punjabi streak!

2011-10-10T22:15:00.002+05:30

As my mommy says often – You dont eat Sarso ka saag te makki di roti and you dont like wearing gaudy, flashy clothes hence you are a misfit to be born a Punjabi. I usually just laugh this off because my parents do no better than I do, they are vegetarians, are extremely soft spoken, wear the plainest of clothes, speak as good Punjabi as would a Briton and don’t have anything much to show off either.

The other day, one of my uncles - my mommy’s first cousin called and invited us for their silver jubilee anniversary celebrations. They said that they wanted to make it grand, like a wedding and hence are taking all their close ones to this resort in Jim Corbett where it would be two day celebration. My natural reaction should have been, I can’t take off from work and that this is boring stuff so I am not going to go but whoa this I thought would be the litmus test if I could really be thick into Punjabis and see if I can be one of them. So, we planned for that weekend and off to Jim Corbett we went. They had done elaborate arrangements, the entire resort was booked and what a wonderful way to spend a weekend than being able to stroll down to the pool, click pictures near the fountain or have a cup of tea while you watch a wedding video which dates back 25 years. I teased my parents, the then newlyweds who looked at each other so very shyly. I also saw my grandmother shaking a leg and it was such sheer delight. Anyway, so the first day was Mehendi in the afternoon, we all sat around the mehendi walla and waited for our turns, I too got it done on both my hands and then got conveniently fed by daddy cool! Evening was what I was waiting for, for my favorite function – Sangeet was planned. The dress theme that evening was red and green and I had carefully chosen my outfit - shimmery and bright. The best thing in Punjabi gatherings is that you can never be overdressed and there are always enough people to make you feel comfortable. Soon enough started the proper Punjabi style Sangeet – dholki, folk songs, gidda steps and the like. My feet wouldn’t stop tapping and it was indeed such a pleasure to be there. Well if this side all aunties made quite a noise then the uncles were no less, there was one Dr Uppal who sang all Hemant and Kishore Kumar songs, the uncles took drinks on drinks and he sang and sang. Quite late in the night, post the compulsory Antaakshari, we sauntered to our cottages. It was that day I realized how I am a true blue Punjabi who felt so much at home in such settings.

Next day, I woke up and got dressed at my own sweet pace, ate breakfast and then was another round of games and music. Well I won’t dwell into the details of the games but they were hugely enjoyable and I too won a prize, yayyy! I also met the prettiest 12 year old who was such a chatter box that I for once had complex about my ranting skills. The afternoon passed by all in boisterous laughter and loud music and then was evening, the time for cocktail party. As expected, the dress theme was black; one had to see to believe the sexy looking women and dashing men dancing away to glory. We came back the next day and guess what this is not over yet. Next day was the actual date for the anniversary and so a party again, a cake which was a feet smaller than I was cut, a lovely video was shown and huge diamond rings were exchanged. This was like truly seeing people living life king size. I have come to realize now that I kind of admire them, the generosity, the warm welcome, the dancing and singing, the part of letting go the sophistication for being truly loud and up there!

Festivity it is!

2011-10-06T22:36:00.004+05:30

Its that time of the year again, when the mood is festive, shopping places are brimming with new stock and the temperature is coming down notch by notch. I was itching to go out and be part of every celebration - the dandiya, Durga Pooja and Dusshhera. Sadly, the super enthusiastic dancer in me had no partner for Dandiya and so I had to skip that. But, I am so glad I could manage to go to Pooja pandals as well as Dusshhera.

It was after many years that I revisited the Durga Pooja pandal and it was nothing less than magnificent. I visited 2 pandals and the enormity of idols in both of these took my breath away. The place was reverberating with the drum beats and the air evoked the fragrance of the holy smoke. I loved just standing there, being able to absorb all what was happening around. Quite late in the night, I could still visualize the scene at the pandal, I could still feel my heart pulsating. With the backdrop of such electrifying experience, I resolved today to go for the Dusshhera. We were at Lajpat Nagar market, I was helping mommy select bed covers, cushion covers, table covers and what not. Its only at 7 that I insisted we had to go and find the Raavan. To my delight we found not just 1, but at least 8 of them, in a vicinity of 500 meters. We sat in a park in front of 4 of them and waited for God Ram's arrival. The block which had arranged for 4 Ravans had done elaborate arrangements, so in that park were not just chairs, but all kind of savoury stalls, a stage in the front that had dancers in the form of Gods - Shiva, Sai Bada, Kaali maa and adjoining to the park were the heavy duty fireworks which added to the spirit of the program. Finally the God, appeared and with his bow - arrow aimed at one of the Raavans. In a matter of few moments, it was all up in the air, the big thermocol idol reduced to ashes thus declaring the victory of good over evil.

It is on such days that I feel with greater vigour that what a marvellous thing is it to be born an Indian. We are such amazingly crazy for festivals people. It is on these festivals that we bond again, leaving behind whatever little there is to nag about.

P.S - I suddenly remember an overused sentence from my school days essays. "India is a country whose strength lies in unity in diversity :)"

2011-09-18T17:24:00.005+05:30

Has it ever happened, that your blood boils for someone has been wronged, for somewhere injustice has been meted out, for there were so many mute spectators and for a no one was forced into oblivion.

Fortunately or unfortunately it happens all the time with me. I remember way too many incidents now, to be able to say that its a rare thing. I have been a witness to a hundred such incidents on the road, at the workplace, in personal life, in a party etc etc. The sad part is I am still not able to figure out what do I do with my boiling blood. I usually just speak up, loud and clear, of course amidst the opposition. The repercussions being getting getting labelled as the "hothead", "stubborn" "idealist" and so on. Do I really care, "NO" in caps is my answer but the sad part is that we have reached the shameful stage where speaking up for someone else makes you either this unpopular bugger or the idealist fool. There is also this new thing, to tell that sole poor soul who has spoken out in favour of someone that "What are you trying to achieve", "Why are you trying to become a martyr". I mean, I really have no answer but to smirk back and tell that you don't do everything because you will achieve something out of it, that becoming a martyr was never the intention but now since you have said that, I somehow feel that I will be the next one to be wronged.

I am only living in the dichotomy of times, where as a young girl I was taught that rising up to the occasion is the right thing to do, where I grew up learning to differentiate between right and wrong, where turning a blind eye was a cowardly act, where each individual had the right to express and hold an opinion of its own, where fighting for someone didn't make you not a lesser mortal, where a thought extended to someone else only meant that you care. Now, fast forwarding to the present times, I am usually taught to keep my mouth shut, I am insisted upon that nothing whatsoever is wrong, that I should blindly agree to what everyone agrees to, that one has no right to hold/express an opinion, that I need to change and keep my anger (read my loud clear words) in check and finally that I am going to land in trouble with my so - called idealist streak.

How I feel I could run away from these sad ugly selfish times!

Do I miss Mumbai?

2011-09-11T18:09:00.004+05:30

Since, it was raining cats and dogs in Delhi, I SMSed a friend and said that it feels just like Mumbai. He asked casually, "Do you miss Mumbai" and I sent him a message which ran into four pages, so I thought why not write a post on this.

Well, my answer in truest sense goes like this. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. I miss the crazy freedom, miss it when I have to leave a concert/play and rush home, don’t miss it when I reach home dead tired and I have my beautiful room and good food waiting for me. Miss it when I have to keep convincing my parents to accompany me for a silly movie I want to watch, don’t miss it when I want to sleep on weekends. Miss it when I crave for Vada pav, don’t miss it when I get to have aloo tikki chaat. Miss it when I want to play poker, don’t miss it when I want to go on a long drive. Miss it when I want to see the sea; don’t miss it when I want to visit a park. To sum it all up, I would like to say:

My two cities, my two lives

One my mistress, one my wife!

Music and the maestros

2011-09-04T18:52:00.003+05:30

Yesterday was an evening par excellence and I can’t help raving about it, so please bear with me. We left from Defence Colony (after having a good snack) at about 6 so as to reach Talkatora in time. I had underestimated the crowd which would gather to listen to the two maestros of music – Ghulam Ali and Jagjit Singh and thus freaked out to see long endless rows of traffic. Thankfully, the traffic police persons managed and helped us reach the stadium on time. Once inside the auditorium, it was an overwhelming feeling of grandeur. The concert was to begin at 7 and till 7 30 it hadn’t started, I was getting impatient but then a look around the theatre and I felt a small being who would rather wait than fret.

Soon after, arrived the great ghazal singer Ghulam Ali. He had an instant way with the audience, a line here and there to connect, he sang what he liked and he sang what the audience wanted. He had such an artistic way of singing that I listened with awe. He would slightly tweak the tune, he would give variations to his baritone, and he would even explain the Urdu words so that the meaning of Ghazal is conveyed in a succinct manner. It was as if he had taken the entire audience in another world, a world of Shers, Raagas, Ghazals and Nazams. After a little over an hour, he stopped to pave the way for the undisputed king of Ghazals - Jagjit Singh. But before he stopped, his last rendition – “Chupke chupke raat din” was given a standing ovation and my heart leapt with joy as it is one of my all time favourites.

Jagjit Singh entered amidst a roaring applause. There was pin drop silence thereafter, in the crowd, as we were just too eager to hear him sing. He started casually adjusting the mike and the sounds with one of his great numbers – “Hosh walon ko khabar kya”. It was pure magic and I was enraptured by his silk voice. As he kept singing, I was losing myself in thoughts, in music, in the words which were beautifully crafted in each Ghazal. The more I think the more I feel incapacitated to write about the greatness of his music. It was sheer joy in the auditorium when one after the other, the audience figured out that the Ghazals, being sung were soulful to the core. When he sang the legendary “Kal chaudhvi ki raat thi” the applause just won’t die down. I too clapped with all the energy and my heart smiled with content. I quietly slipped out then as it had gotten late and I had to rush home. The way back, I played the same Ghazals and hummed all the while. After this phenomenal experience, I have decided to send mommy daddy to the next Jagjit Singh concert in Delhi. :)

It would be unfair if I end this post without mentioning the two people who technically were the support for Jagjit Singh, but were doing a fanatbulous job at the Tabla and flute. Also, thanks to this concert I saw on stage my favourite RJ - Nitin and I wohoooooooooooooed for him as loudly as I could!

As green as it gets

2011-09-01T21:31:00.000+05:30

Kerala was long awaited, one because I was exhausted to the core and second because I always wanted to see what Kerala is all about. So, it started with the usual, me pestering my parents, they conceeding and then the planning. We didn't do any elaborate planning except for zeroing on the tours and travels. Once booked and paid, we only had to pack and the rest would be taken care of. The route we took was the Cochin - Munnar - Thekaddy - Allepey - Cochin. I can only say that it was so green and serene that I almost lost myself there. The tea plantations, spice gardens, backwaters, Periyar lake, hills all are exquisitely beautiful and have to be seen to be felt. It is one of those places which I can imagine to ward off a bad dream and sleep in peace.

Anyway, so I will only highly recommend Kerala to you and let this be. Now, what I am going to write about are the people whom I met and remember in great detail. The first was the cab driver who drove us all around the State. He met us on the very first day, my first impression of him was that he was a maniac and will get us killed in the hills. Thankfully my perception of him changed quickly and we were glad to have him around. All the the things about him were likeable - he dressed smartly, smiled shyly when his eyes met mine, was super concerned when mommy felt puckish and last but not the least played the most awesome music ever. Such fabulous surrounding and great music, what more can one ask for. Nadeem mostly played my favourite Hindi music and once in a while Malyalam songs which also I liked, considering our tastes in music is quite similar. One day, while I was absorbing the breathtaking environs, daddy cool asked him casually about his background. He said that he has completed his masters in Marketing from Cochin and currently looking for a job. His being the driver part was because he loves to drive and has nothing better to do at this point in time. I pondered for a moment and then felt sad about the lack of employability of the young and educated in India.

I asked Nadeem one day to take me to a good massage place (it is a must when you visit Kerala). He took us to a Ayurvedic center in Munnar and said this is the best in town, I said thank you and took the flight of stairs to meet the manager of the place and subsequently the masseuse. She was a dark complexioned girl with child like features. Her name was Tinu and she was my age. I was fairly apprehensive in the beginning but she did all to comfort me and made me feel at ease. Once, when I started enjoying the massage, we started talking about my trip, her family, her entering this field, our salaries and so on. She works hard to make the ends meet, even in the off season, she gives massage to at least 5 people, this leaves her tired but then who has the time to feel the tiredness. I don't know at what point we connected but we spoke as if old friends. She told me she got married against the wishes of her parents and is now the mother of a two year old baby girl. Her story goes like - girl fell in love with boy, they fought with the world, got married and now the girl regrets. The overwhelming responsibilities, the trifle little they earn as a couple, the reckless husband seem too much of a cost to have been paid for a love marriage. She advised me out of her own experience "don't get married madam, very problem madam". The words stuck and so did her lovely face. I thanked her profusely for giving me the luxurious massage and then I left.

Nadeem was standing outside when I left the Ayurvedic Center, he took me where my parents were shopping and was pleased to know that I liked the place he recommended. On the sixth day of our trip, he bid us adieu and dropped us at the Cochin airport, he waved and so did I.

Food and the like!

2011-08-28T17:24:00.002+05:30

Today, mommy took me to the nearby temple and asked to distribute black chanas to the kids who play in the vicinity. I saw about 5 – 6 of them happily running around, I gestured to them that I wanted to give something. In flash of a second, there were more than 20 who gathered around me, begging as if this was all they had waited for their entire lives. Such pleading, such hunger for something as small as black chanas was beyond me. I don’t remember last time when I devoured any food item the way those kids devoured their little snack. It isn’t the first time when I have seen kids snatching away whatever little I have to offer, but today I felt pity for them and for myself though for entirely different reasons. I have it but don’t want it; they don’t have it but crave for it.

Life would have been a beautiful dream, only if I could value, all what I have.

Stupid stupid me!

2011-08-14T23:01:00.004+05:30

Well you must know dear blog that I can be really eccentric. I mean if something gets into my head, its almost impossible to take it out till the time I have found a solution to it. Like the other day, SA asked me that with "I" when is "was" used and when is "were used, I was flummoxed to realize that I didn't know. I spent an hour that night on google search about grammar rules and all that but in vain. Finally, I stumbled on a blog which explained the was/were concept in great detail. In some ways, it was abstruse but I figured it out and slept in peace. Just out of curosity, I asked daddy cool the next morning about it, he answered in a second and in the simplest of the words. He said "beta, when its wishful thinking "were" is used and when facts are stated "was" is used. He then gave me an example - "if I were a bird" and "I was in London last week". Its amazing that how google age has not made me a tad bit smarter. Thank you, daddy cool, you are and will always be the most intelligent man I know.

Jaipur and more

2011-08-12T23:04:00.000+05:30

I went to Jaipur last week and the experience was particularly refreshing. I tagged along with a senior colleague in his car and to our surprise the drive turned out to be a smooth and pleasant one. There was cool breeze, traffic free highway, countryside view and some great music. We reached in four hours flat and prepared for the work next day. I will skip the part about work but what I want to mention is that 22 people (fast trackers) together were on a journey to discovering themselves. We (the senior colleague and me) were facilitating the process and were quite liking it. First time in my life, I had the opportunity to give feedback to others on their personality traits, work place behaviour and so on. I remember how fascinating it used to be when in OB sessions, I got to know things about myself and so I secretly hoped that the group also finds the discovery fascinating and enlightening.

The resort where we stayed was a quiet and lovely place. It had a huge lawn, a swimming pool, monkeys, trees and in general an environment which is conducive to peaceful thoughts. The 4 day program went on smoothly and finally it was time to come back. For the return journey, I decided to take volvo with the group. We started at 4 and since, I had had a heavy sumptuous lunch, I dozed off without wasting any time. When I woke, the sun was beginning to fade and just then one person suggested that we play dumb charades. The group seemed reluctant and so was I. Just imagine a group of people with an average age of 32 who have met only 4 days back playing dumb charades! Anyway, we started and then there was no looking back. Everyone got so engaged in the game for the next 4 hours that one person almost missed boarding off at Gurgaon! Fact of the matter is that some things in life don't change and one of those being able to play dumb charades, wherever - whenever :)

The post ends here and what I am going to write now, has no relevance to anything written above but please read this because I am itching to tell - Men can be so obnoxious, today while I was walking on a road full of traffic and people, a person barely a step ahead of me took the smallest step towards the side of the road and relieved himself. DISGUSTING is the word, I mean, have men ever thought that how girls manage and don't they have an iota of shame whatsoever.

2011-07-27T22:42:00.004+05:30

I was sulking big time today and SA & I were mostly talking about how time is a healer and stuff like that when we started discussing about the first crushes we have had in school. I never thought it could be such a refreshing topic; we spoke enthusiastically about the first guys we liked as young girls. We shared our little stories and in a few minutes I forgot all about my bad day.

I think I was 13 or 14; and there was this cute guy (lets call him A) who suddenly showered me with more attention than what a 14 year old girl can manage. Initially I was scared and uncomfortable with the fact that he liked me. He was really vocal about his feelings (I think we understood feelings then too) and that is what freaked me out. But, I remember vividly going red with blush when A dropped a love note in my desk. His handwriting was pathetic to say the least and I couldnt make any sense of what he had written but I read and re read whatever little I could read. It sounds incredibly funny but I have to confess that I also secretly sang and smiled to myself after that

If school was not enough, then there were evenings too. Occassionally, I crossed the park where he played cricket and without exaggeration I will say that my heart beat raced at a speed unthinkable. I would only steal one glimpse of him and he by some magic would hit a six. In that precise moment all eyes would be at me (or at least I believed). I would then fluster and rush away from the spot only to find myself thinking about it hours later.

We have studied together since the time we were in first standard and thus have attended quite a number of birthday parties. But during that year, his Birthday party was some event in my life. I dressed nicely and picked up a gift which I fail to remember. The interesting part is when I reached, it was as if he was waiting only for me to begin the party and then the chit I picked up while playing a game read “You have to dance with A”. A was actually quite a charming dancer and I could have thought of myself as lucky but the shy me only smiled and danced with everyone.

How real that was at that time, how I felt that this will be it!

P.S – SA too shared something equally sweet and enticing, let me know if you too can recall your first crush J

Stars

2011-07-25T22:03:00.000+05:30

I have been wanting to write this post for sometime now but have been dilly dallying, it could be because I don't know the entire story or because I am just plain simple indifferent. But it crossed my mind many times and so here I am trying to make sense of the little thought which keeps propping up in my head.

For someone like me who has had the luxury of going to expensive coaching classes, reading (read not reading) from foreign authors and ultimately scraping through a seat in a good institute, its easy to sit back in the comfort of an air conditioned room and type this piece on my laptop. But there would be many people not as fortunate as me, but having the zeal to reach somewhere someday.

Its an absolute delight to meet those who are passionate and ambitious. For them sweat and hard work is another dimension which I cannot fathom. Take for example, the street vendor who earns his living by selling "Kulche chhole" outside my office. The temperature soared at 45 degrees but he wore a vest and worked as if its just another day, just another time. He only concentrated on work at his hand, even when the crowd was too much for him to handle and we thought of walking away, he only smiled and said he will make our stuff in a moment. I was only staring at him in wonder, I don't know what drives him, a bigger stall, money, house, family.. but at that precise moment I wanted to take a bow at him.

I have always regarded education as really important, in fact till very recently I thought only people like me worked in big firms. Yes, I know I was amazingly naive but anyway the point is that once I started working, I came to know that big firms became big only because they were too many "small" people willing to work hard. I am lucky to have met them, not many in number but enough to know that stars do exist not just in the sky but in the eyes, in the dreams of people who one day will be what they deserve to be.

2011-07-17T23:15:00.005+05:30

The evening was going as we had planned, pizza, the movie, giggles, nachos, muffin and then the instructions which SK usually gives me - drive slowly, roll up the windows, be careful and I hushed him by saying that its a 15 minute drive and I am sure I can manage that.

But alas, I couldn't. I was only 5 mins away from my home, singing away to glory and slowing down while taking a right turn. BOOM! I heard and my heart sank. I mustered the courage to look back only to find the shards of broken glass and a toppled over auto. It had hit me from back and for 30 seconds I couldn't fathom what just happened. In no time, I saw about 50 people that gathered. I rolled up the windows, my hands trembled as I picked up my cell to call dad. My shaky voice told him that all is not well, he told me to remain calm and that he will be there in a moment.

Just then, someone knocked at the car window, his eyes accused me of something I had not done. I wanted to put up a brave face but could only meekly ask "how is the person in the auto". It was the toughest, the scariest moment but thank God for he was fine and so was I. It was then that someone suggested that I should leave the spot. I rushed and came back home to hugs, kisses and reassurances..

Its all fine now but I feel so miserable for my little, adorable Merc :(

2011-07-12T20:47:00.000+05:30

Different people have fetish for different things in life. I too have discovered mine and to my surprise it is an inexpensive trinket, found everywhere, used by everyone and valued by none.

I won’t keep you guessing today and so here I go – key chains. I adore them and buy them wherever I go. I didn’t realize till a long long time that I love collecting key chains. Now, when I look back, it makes absolute sense, each time a key chain broke, or was lost my heart ruefully wept.

I have had all kind of shapes and sizes – doll, teddy bear, dolphin, elephant, grapes, shoes, zoo zoo, guitar, bicycle. Even the ones which said “Love you”and“Lil miss perfect” have adorned my wallet for good time. I keep telling my friends these days that key chains are such wonderful things. Secretly, I am only wishing that they will pick up a couple of them for me wherever they go :)

Just an afterthought – I also like collecting modes of transport – auto, bicycles, rickshaws, cars, airplane, helicopter, taxi, trucks!

Ok, no more, that’s all for today, see ya!

Ohh by the way, if I already haven’t told you this in person – I saw Hrithik Roshan, Katrina Kaif and Abhay Deol on the Lucknow airport and I am soooo awestruck by Abhay Deol.

2011-06-16T19:06:00.000+05:30

A spring in the step, a smile on the face, a song on the lips, thats what happens when I see him in sight. We have been with each other for long now and with time; our relationship has morphed and taken a more meaningful form. It’s only with him, that I can be my true self. There has never been a need for pretense, for explanations and thus I feel not just at ease but at peace too.

Between us, I have been the spoilt one. Many a times, I have kept him awake till wee hours and then lain in his arms till late in the afternoon. Post waking up, I would take control over the TV remote, gorge on food, snatch the newspaper, look my ugliest unkempt self but he would never say a word. He would just be his same calm wonderful self. It’s so rare these days to find someone like that, someone so dear, someone so special.

Time flies with him and it’s only at night when I look at him wistfully, aware of the harsh truth that next day he will be gone and I will have to deal with it all by myself. Though I give him the credit of that one day, when he tries his best to rejuvenate what was lost when he was gone. In his absence, all I say is:

Ohh my dear Sunday, come fast
For your darling is waiting with open arms..

Fading away..

2011-06-06T20:46:00.003+05:30

Tired, exhausted and dazed
No superwoman, I am left fazed
All this hoopla for just
Two little words of praise..

Sleepless, dreamless I wander
Here to there, mind is in wonder
My heart screams.. surrender surrender
The corporate dream is only a blunder

Droopy eyes and a fake smile
Sloched shoulders which carry a pile
Brickbats and countless files
For a pay cheque, not worth while

So much to do, in such less time
I will fade away before my prime
I wanna breathe, wanna be fine
For all I care, is a life which is mine!

Games, small silly games!

2011-05-28T22:00:00.002+05:30

I am in one of those moods when I tell random things about myself, so mostly today I will give you a reason to laugh and hence if you have stumbled on this post, you might just want to read on. Now as much as it may sound childish, the fact remains that I love playing games. I was fascinated with my yesteryears “ghar ghar” and “Doctor” till a fairly good age and then though I graduated to “Tic tac toe” and “Name Place Animal Thing”, I still haven’t come out of those. Frankly, one major reason for my still sticking on to these games is that I am quite superb and can challenge and beat almost anyone.

Only when I thought that I will always revel in my small victories, I entered into teen and my friends started completely ignoring my invitation to play these games. I had no choice but to quietly acquiescence to their wish and console my heart that gone are the days when people invented and enjoyed playing such ingenious games. I kept growing old and in the passage of time met only a few people here and there who taught me more like “Gold, silver, bronze” and “Hangman”, I always later thought that all is not lost and there is still hope for me and my games.

Then, something happened somewhere and I found love. Out of the blue, I met people who were as crazy if not more about games I hadn’t heard about. They taught me dutifully and I like a diligent pupil learnt “Mafia” and “Poker”. It was as if the tiger tasted blood, it was addictive and thrilling to play these new ones, the big ones. For countless evenings and nights, I would play, win and lose; it was a dream run to say the least. But, as all good things come to an end, my love affair too ended though not for ever I hope, but yes, there has been break.

In the meanwhile, the ever flirtatious I wanted something to keep myself going. So, I figured out that games are quite simple, a couple of rules, 1 – 2 friends who still manage to take me seriously and there I go hip hopping to them for some fun and frolic. Now, since I have written till here, I might as well tell you two of the many games that I have framed. The first is called “yes/no” game, in this one, one player asks questions and the other one can answer anything except “yes/no”, the moment the tongue slips, the player loses. The only flip side in this game is that people these days have become smart and learn the art quickly. Nonetheless, it’s a lot of fun and hence highly recommended. My next game is the “Adjective” game, in this one, the two players need to decide on an alphabet and keep giving adjectives to the other person from that alphabet, the more the adjectives, the higher are your chances to win. This game not just improves your vocabulary but can also improve/jeopardize your relationship given the words you choose to describe the other person. Again, this one is a highly recommended and enjoyable game. I can keep on writing endlessly on this topic but then there should be a limit to unnecessary rambling and so here I put a full stop to this post. Just as an after thought, please feel free to get in touch if you want more silly games ideas!

2011-05-17T21:17:00.001+05:30

I sifted through my old stuff today, since my house is getting refurbished it was my mom who insisted that I should do cleaning of my drawers and see if there is something which can be thrown away. I started quite enthusiastically only to be left bewildered and nostalgic at the end.

It was weird to be looking at school badges, greeting cards, college books, black and white passport size pictures of my parents, dried up roses, friendship bands and letters sent through post. I didn’t know what to throw and what to keep. I went through this paraphernalia carefully; but it only evoked a vague memory.

My late grandfather came alive in the greeting cards which he had sent year after year without a day’s delay. It had all sorts of flowers and colors; I don’t think that the likes of Archies make such cards today and I don’t feel, there are ever going to be any wishes as pure. My parents in the bloom of their youth, looked quite handsome and raring to go, two love birds betrothed for life. Their countenance may have changed a bit with time but the love hasn’t, it only has deepened.

The friendship bands were many in number and tell a story which is quite ironic, I can’t recollect who gave me which one, though I remember vividly that it was a matter of pride in school to don these bands and flaunt their ever increasing number. The earned school badges seemed like a world conquered, how can they now look like a trifle little piece of metal. I read each letter word by word making meaning of the innocent things once written.

I told my mom, after the two hour odyssey back in time, that I have cleaned everything, dusted the drawers and kept back each memory in the place it belonged to.

FB phobia

2011-05-13T22:05:00.002+05:30

If there is one sentence that comes to my mind when I think of FB, then it has to be – FB has shrunk my world and brought me closer to people whom with time I had left behind (or viceversa!) It has penetrated in my life in so many ways - pictures, notes, random thoughts, announcements, invites, congratulatory messages and the like. In fact, it has become imeprative to log on to the FB account and see if in my world all is fine.

But of late, there has been a slight sense of trepidation while logging on to FB. In my introspective mode, I figured out why is it that I feel what I feel. It is a bit embarassing but then let me be candid and tell the reasons upfront. Ok, I will start with the one which is manageable – What if I put a status update after thinking through , spell checking twice, and still people smirk and laugh inwardly. My overhyped education as well as the small ego I have nurtured would together take a hit. This is about status updates on which I can still put up a brave face, but what if someone tags me in one of my horrendous looking times, what if I look fat and ugly, what if the farce of my profile picture is out in the open! And as I am writing this, I also wonder what if I have nothing to say to my virtual world, will people forget me and I will be lost in oblivion.

All the above, is actually just a fraction of how things on FB could go wrong and the biggest of my FB fears still remain unwritten. So finally here I go, what if I see an ex flame's new relationship status on FB? At the cost of sounding desperate, I think I will just completely freak out if someone I liked is now with someone else and their mushy pictures are all over the internet for common friends to like and comment. My little heart will go whining and crying for I don't know how many days if this happens. I mean it is ok, if I get to put a new relationship status and pictures but if my someone at sometime does that, I won't like it at all.

FB and its ways, sigh!

2011-05-03T22:17:00.003+05:30

My dear blog, I am back after a month long hiatus and I have lots to tell. So I won't make any long stories and will try to keep as simple and short as possible. Not that, you can really sue me for writing long stories on blog but still the sweet considerate soul I am, I won't bore you today. Ohh this reminds me, AG my friend gets so frustrated with me because whenever I tell him something, I take like an hour, add all the small irrelevant details and keep procrastinating the end result, he usually scolds me and tells me sharply "Nehu, what happened finally, just tell that" but the mean streak in me doesn't let him get off the hook easily :) Ok ok I remember, no digressions today, so starting with major changes in life - my room and house got re painted, it looks all fresh, vibrant and happy. Though the work is still going on and I have taken a 90 degree rotation in my sleeping posture but I don't mind that!

Work has been hectic of late and I tried giving it all what I have, was diligent and generally didn't shy away from any of the responsibilities (mine or someone else's). So workwise I am content at the moment, thanks to the pay hike and the small little good words which the seniors and colleaugues at work bestowed on me. But I am missing MR (world's best boss) already who has left for US yesterday.

I am back to my aerobics class at the gym and it is wonderful to say the least, 25 of us jumping like monkeys, sweating it out and trying to catch and match all the steps! Oh by the way, I don't think I have mentioned, my best friend from college, VB is getting married and I am quite freaked out. In fact, in order to soothe my nerves, I have decided to dance on her Sangeet ceremony, it will be a solo affair and I am quite looking forward to it.

Yesterday, I was in one of those terrible moods of mine when the whole world seemed bad, when I felt like no one has ever cared for me and well as much as I am ashamed of admitting, I did cry without any reason or rhyme. Though now I am back to my smiley and giggly self, the credit goes entirely to H who did a whole lot to cheer me up.

Well, I have come to the last peice of information and sad as it may sound, it is true. Today, while driving back from the nearby market to my house, I got my car into this small gutter which was quite invisible in the dark, my car hit the wall adjoining the gutter and owing to my fantastic driving skills I couldn't get it out. I made quite a mockery of myself when 5 kids (1/4th my age) and a couple of young men, literally dragged my car out of that puddle. I shyly smiled and thanked everyone and sped away. As expected, my car got this huge dent at the back and I am quite upset with myself for inflicting this unnecessary pain on my car.

Ok, now no more updates which come to my mind, so off I go to sleep. Good night dear blog :)

Hip Hip Hurrrrray!

2011-04-03T20:02:00.000+05:30

A billion dreams came alive yesterday when the Indian cricket team brought back home the elusive cup. It has been a victory of sorts – a victory against a formidable team, a victory against our own mental block and finally a victory of the game which we so dearly love.

2^nd Apr 2011 will be remembered in the history of cricket as that one day, when the roads were deserted, when the shops lowered shutters and when the whole of India shut it itself to watch some mind-blowing cricket. The match was initially moving at a tortoise pace; the Lankans were slow starters but put up a powerful score in the end. It was then that I too moved out of my house and settled myself for the Indian innings at a lounge bar in South Ex. I was glad to see that the place was jampacked with so many people who had painted themselves, wore Indian jerseys and were in full spirit of the game.

The crowd had just got into the groove when the opening batsmen got out on duck. The trumpets were silenced, when the God was knocked out early on. The faces looked gloomy and the irrepressible cynic rose again. It was just the heart which kept brimming with energy and thought that all is still not lost. The journey after that was a dream run, with each boundary, the crowd rose to cheer. When the chase looked within the reach, the lounge was reverberating with music. Finally, Delhi boy – Gambhir, the cool captain and Yuvraj Singh, led the Indian team to the great victory. The clincher six evoked cries of exhilaration from the crowd and all of us jumped in ecstacy. It was an emotional moment for the team and the boys didn’t shy away from letting a tear or two trickle.

The euphoria which followed post match was nothing short of spectacular; we swayed on the tune of “Vande Matram”, bear hugs, beer bottles, trumpets, fireworks, congratulatory messages, the tricolor, all was on display. People in hordes came out on the streets, the frenzy reached its peak, CP to Defense colony, India Gate to South Ex, Indians were celebrating. It was a moment of joy for the game lovers, for the team who gave its sweat and hard work and for an average Indian who beamed with pride because the Indian Team brought back that one cup for which it had to wait for 28 long years. Once again, we put our stamp on the world map; once again we proved that India with all its follies and fallacies has arrived!

2011-03-19T21:55:00.003+05:30

Last weekend went spectacularly well, there are a couple of reasons for that, the primary being that I went back to the place where I have spent my growing up years. My dad works with NTPC and so we used to live in this township called Dadri, which is about 26 kms ahead of Ghaziabad. It houses a thermal power plant and has a radius of 6 kms. Its a tiny place and this revelation happened only when we moved to Delhi. Back in township, there was never a need to step out for anything, there was a school (my school), hospital and a shopping complex. It was more and enough for my childhood and teenage years.

We used to live in this big house which was painted white on the outside, it had the luxury of a garden, veranda and a backyard. From the age of 10 to 17, we lived in that house and so there is an entire phase of life I associate it with. Friends, birthday parties, laughter, tears, rivalries, dreams, so much and more which it reminds me of. Since, I was in Dadri, I couldn't help but take a glimpse of that house and reminiscence of my carefree days.

I went to Dadri, with my two friends whom I have known through thick and thin of life, we have known each other since the age of 5 and have practically shared each little secret. We went because it was a wedding of this couple who was in school with us. We were all friends and they were tying the nuptial knot so we thought that it would be great to be a part of their celebration and of course we may just bump into old time buddies who in passage of time, lost touch. As expected it was awesome, to see our school friends together, they managed to look happy, stunned and ravishing , all at the same time. I also met other friends, we chatted, hugged, clicked pictures, teased each other and then headed towards our school at 2 in the night. We couldn't enter the school premises but nonetheless it felt good. We spent the night at one of my friends' place, it was till wee hours that we kept talking, finally slept and next day, it was back to being in Delhi.

P.S - I drove down the entire stretch to and fro Dadri

Women's Day

2011-03-08T21:04:00.004+05:30

Many many years ago, when I was a young girl, I used to get intoxicated by the fragrance of my English teacher, whenever she used to pass me, I wanted to touch her, wanted to talk to her. Her simple yet elegant style would take my breath away. There have been women and such amazing ones that even after ages ago, I remember them. While in school, if I wanted to emulate my English teacher, there was another one whose value system I wanted to imbibe, she used to teach me Hindi and lessons of life, the memories of which are alive and fresh till date.

Out from the closet, when I stepped for the first time in Delhi, I took to living in a PG with two other girls or didi's as I called them. There was one who sheltered me like a kid and made me a stronger person. From giving me directions on the phone to letting me have the larger space in the wardrobe, she was a sweetheart to say the least. I lived there for 25 odd days but she left an indelible mark.

Women in all walks of life; inspire me. The strength of character, the never ending patience, the ability to steer through the toughest, the steel nerves and finally the place they earn in a male dominated bastion. There is nothing now, which comes to my mind which my flock doesn't do. Bikers, politicians, pilots, directors, scientists, sportspersons, metro engineers, writers, wherever I see, I find these gracious beings adding color and zing to life. So this small post is my toast to all the women, who make this earth a better place to live in.

Wish you a very Happy Women's Day, cheers!

Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T21:46:00.003+05:30

The roses, the music, the gifts, the holding of hands and the endless exchange of sweet nothings, that sums up the perfect Valentine's Day for me. I remember in school, I would usually find something in my bag - a chocolate, a rose or a love note. The person would mostly not disclose his identity but it nonetheless was utterly cute. In college (both graduation and post graduation), a lot of my classmates would bunk classes and hang out with their boyfriends/girlfriends. Girls dressed in their best would be carrying big bouquets and guys typically would have done something a little beyond their means. Now when I am working, a few of my colleagues took a day off and went for a weekend vacation with their partners. I think all of this right from the beginning is very sweet and brings about that small gesture of love and that little extra which people have always done.

Of late, I hear people ridiculing the idea of celebrating love or in particular the Valentine's Day because its just too much of hype for nothing. A lot of people argue that why does one need a particular day to express love to the beloved. If its there then its there else its not. But I differ big time on this one, it could be because I am a die hard romantic or simply because I love, love stories. If you love someone then why not make it special, not to say that make that day the only special day in the entire year but it just gives an excuse to make another day special in the life of your special one. I also firmly believe that the whole feel of Valentine's Day can make anyone's heart go red with mush and so anyone who has ever been in love should be all for it.

By the way, my daddy cool exceeded all my expectations today and got a lovely card for my mom. To think of it, its so easy - the roses, the diamonds, the cards, the candle light dinners can just do the trick and bring back that yesteryear's magic.. that charm of falling in love all over again.

P.S - Thank you SA, for giving me that beautiful red rose from your bouquet.

Eyes

2011-02-04T22:03:00.003+05:30

I might one day just be shoved out of the Metro, thanks to the my weird ways. I often stare at people and when I am traveling in the ladies compartment, I stare at women and girls. Some stare back, some shy away but I don't give up. No no, don't get me wrong, I am pretty much straight, the only thing which compels me to keep looking at women is their eyes as in the expressive eyes.

The more women I have observed, the more my belief has strengthened that how much they can talk through eyes. Its just all there, bare in front of the world to read to grasp and to make meaning of what these little treasures are trying to say. There are eyes which show helplessness, there are the naughty ones waiting to get into someone's arms, eyes raring to go and take over the world, eyes tired of the many burdens, eyes happy and content... The more the eyes; the more the expressions. I look at them and smile inwardly as to how many would be reading mine.

2 movies, 1 thought

2011-01-26T20:16:00.003+05:30

I went to see "No one killed Jessica" with colleagues, I wanted to watch it because I was following the case very closely and so it intrigued me that how cinema would have depicted a real life murder case of a girl who was a no one to say the least. The movie beautifully displays the agony which a common man undergoes fighting the corruption, the biggies, the judiciary and the personal loss. The movie made me think hard, it touched a chord somewhere and was convincing enough to bring home the fact that apathy is looming large.

Today, on the occasion of our 62nd Republic Day, I was watching the grand parade on television. It was enthralling and made my heart swell with pride. Just when it ended, "Peepli Live" was starting on one of the movie channels. I decided to watch it especially after the critical acclaim it received. I knew vaguely that it talks about the farmer suicides; frankly I haven’t taken a lot of interest in the same and only had a superficial understanding of the issue. Coming back to the movie, it tells the poignant story of the innumerable farmers in our country. It is a satire on the government policies and schemes. It made me laugh a few times but in the end it left me with a heavy heart.

As an after thought, I realized that the media is portrayed in eclectic ways – in Jessica it was an enabler and in Peepli it was only a sham. The two movies are so very different; one revolves around the people who are a part of the great Indian story and the other about the people who have been left behind in the era of high income and growth. One is based out of the National Capital and other about some forgotten village, one about a young beautiful daring girl and other about a gullible illiterate farmer. But in both the stories, protagonist dies either in spirit or in form.

Meeeee

2011-01-23T15:55:00.005+05:30

I have always liked myself, when I was a child I used to climb up the chairs to see how I looked in a new dress or hairstyle. I would smile in conceit and then would pester my dad for compliments. It was these compliments and kisses which made me like myself more. Then at school, I would be at the best of my behavior and so I got badges and prizes. There were enough relatives and neighbors who said nice things about me to my mom and that only added to my smugness.

Now when I have grown up, the badges, kisses and envious neighbors all have gone,what has remained is the love which I have for myself. I call myself by my complete name, buy myself nice stuff, let myself binge on good food and always treat myself with respect. I also tell myself often that one day its all going to be fine so I coax myself to giggle even when I am down and out. The love also turns into mild indignation when I realize that I have done something or someone wrong. I castigate and punish myself by saying that I didn't expect this from myself.

People around me always tease me that I am such a big narcissist but to think of it, I feel that its a good way to lift your spirits. Rather than depending on someone else, why not make pamper yourself, pay yourself compliments when others are still contemplating, smile when others are smirking and last but not the least reprimand yourself before anyone else comes and makes you feel small. This is just my small way of being loved and conceited :p

Lohri time!

2011-01-13T22:11:00.004+05:30

Lohri is one festival which I so fondly look forward to. First it is winters and then there is fire. I always have this picture in mind, about friends, neighbors and relatives taking rounds about the fire, putting peanuts and popcorn in the fire and merrily singing or at least humming along with the songs being played.

So as you would have figured it out, I really wanted to celebrate Lohri today, I called up friends and told my colleagues that lets do something, all they could come up with was a boring dinner/coffee plan which of course was not going with the Lohri theme in my mind. I felt dejected and came back home at quarter past 8.

Suddenly, when I was lazily lying in my bed I realized that there would be some Lohri celebration happening in my society. I dragged my dad out of his quilt and there we were, all smiling and wishing people. I was apparently so enthused about the whole celebration that I kept bugging all uncles and my dad about the significance of Lohri. Some said it was about the newly weds and kids, some about the new year for farmers, the golden harvest and the few went to the extent of explaining that the earth starts moving towards the sun and days getting longer indicating the dawn of winters. I think I was just asking for the fun of it as I am happy as long as there is bonfire and bonhomie :P

P.S - This is my first post in the new year!

Heart versus head

2010-12-19T22:12:00.005+05:30

Does this happen only to me or do all of us, at some or the other time find ourselves in the middle of the perpetual battle between the head and the heart. There are dilemmas and so many of them that I always find myself badly engrossed. My silly heart and my smart head pull me into two opposite directions and I have no idea whom I should be listening to. It could be as small a thing as having a pizza or giving a call to someone I have a crush on but I am always wondering what the right thing to do is. I think, I ponder over and finally I give in to my heart.

I listen to my heart not because it has the sanest advice for me but because it gives me a fair chance to get what I badly want to. In fact, it is also my heart that plays all kind of mean tricks at me and gets me around. Just to elaborate on this, my little heart beats faster and then in a forlorn way tells me that if not now then its going to be never, it harps on how this life is just the one chance I have to live it and so I better live it on my own terms, then it says sharply that how I will later regret not listening to it and be one of those people who just pretend to be happy in life. These are all the things that I so fundamentally believe in that I have no choice but to give in to my heart.

My dear mind loses out on most occasions and frankly I don’t know why. It has a very simplistic view on life usually, it has no fancy words to say, it doesn’t even try blackmailing me, it plays straight with me and I like that to a very great extent. The only place where I think it loses out is that it reminds me of all the times when I listened to my heart and gave in and felt hurt and dejected. It is this part about my mind which I so badly dislike. You know its okay, I honestly tried, I fell straight in my face, I shed a few tears and like a brave girl I got up again. As long as I don’t nurture any grudges, as long as I am able to smile again, how does it matter what happened ages ago. So here goes, a small suggestion for my sane mind, please open up a little, don’t be scared of life. Laugh, love and live, trust me it will all turn out to be fantastic!

Nothing but love..

2010-12-07T22:05:00.004+05:30

The warmth you give
Your eyes that steal
The smile so shy
Will ever be mine

The beat that skip
On the words unsaid
The silence which felt
Like an epic being read

The hours that went
Your hands when held
With a promise to protect
In life and in death..

P.S - I don't have a title as yet for this poem, any suggestions?

Onset of winters

2010-11-21T19:25:00.002+05:30

The slight shiver, cool fragrant breeze and sight of my soft blanket reminded me today that my favorite season is back. Last year I was in Mumbai and hence missed sorely this beautiful weather.

Dressing up in colorful warm clothes, snuggling into quilt and catching up on a nice old movie on television is my idea of a perfect winter evening. Actually come to think of it, it is the days which lead to the chill are the ones which I enjoy most. The sun is bright but with a tinge of blush, the ceiling fans are on but the speed gradually reduces, the jackets are out from the closet but still haven't found their way over the shirts. Its like enjoying the travel more than the destination. The craving for all the calorific dishes also start in these days. The temptation to eat and then sleep for hours together is hard to resist but nonetheless, its beautiful and I am loving it :)

SMS!

2010-11-05T20:31:00.003+05:30

I woke up today with the beep of SMS on my cell. It was a colleague wishing me Diwali, I didn't have his number stored and his name just had a faint memory attached to it. There were many more such messages which I kept receiving through the day. So, finally at 4 in the afternoon, I decided to draft a message and send it to a whole lot of people.

It was weird because I was thinking hard, I just didn't want to miss anyone. Of course, if I miss a couple of old friends or a colleague it would not make any difference because anyway they would not know that I was sending bulk messages. It was then that it occurred to me that sending a Happy Diwali message is just a way of telling people that they matter and that even if we are not in touch and our last conversation happened ages ago, I think and care about them in my own small way.

Diwali is as much about warm wishes as it is about the pleasant weather, the glittering lights and delectable sweets. The spirits soar high and the mood gets enlivened. Its a marvel that people suddenly smile and hug each other in the festive season. Wish the season continues and brings millions of smiles to the billion I know :-)

Love will find a way

2010-10-30T20:35:00.005+05:30

I went out with my office gang to Big Chill today, it was a girls' evening out so mostly as expected we talked about our boyfriends: present and ex, fiancees and future husbands. We went on and on discussing about love, feelings and the like.

As it is in these days of inflated egos and independent lifestyles, we all agreed that adjusting with someone for an entire life time means a huge deal and so living in together might not be a bad option. It gives an insight into how your life would be in the future. As much as I agree to this, it saddens me to think that we have reached a stage where even after falling in love, after being committed to one person, there is so much more we contemplate about, so much more we need to try and test.

There is an oft repeated story, which I tell people. It is about my dad who when met my mom for the first time, scribbled on a piece of paper "Na tum hume jano, na hum tumhe jaane magar lagta hai kuch aisa mera humdum mil gaya". There are other stories too which reinforce my trust in love. Stories of uncles who wrote poems, love letters and traveled great deal to make a phone call to the one they were betrothed to. Love in that era was simple, pure, sweet and eternal. It was that leap of faith which people took and then never wavered for their entire lives.

The times might have changed and so have the stories. The only common thread (with women of course) which remains still is the desire to be with that one man, to be with that one man who will go down on his knees and express his love. That one man who will be the knight in shining armour. That one man after meeting whom, the heart will say that Love has found its way.

Nameless faces

2010-10-03T18:51:00.003+05:30

I have an instinct inkling to talk to young children and most of all the ones I meet on red light crossings, the ones who live and sleep on the sidewalks and who earn their living by selling knick knacks to the people who care to roll down their window shields and thus this post is about two such kids.

There is a little girl, in her tattered old frock who would come running towards me on the Mayur Vihar crossing. She has a wheatish complexion, freckles, golden uncombed hair and a lovely smile. We would sometimes smile at each other when I couldn’t stop and at other times, she would shake her little hand with mine. I would inquire if she has eaten and slept, she would gracefully nod in affirmation. I asked her once what she would want and she asked for a comb and soap. I couldn’t believe the naivety of her answer and so next day gave her what she had asked for. I have never seen the joy which I saw in her eyes in that very moment.

There is a boy too, who is my favorite. He would meet me at the Lodi Road crossing. To say the least, he is a charming and shy boy. He would attract peoples’ attention by making ludicrous faces and then would plead them to buy one of the many things which he would sell. I bought from him a couple of times, the next time I met him I just offered him money because of my lack of motivation to buy any of things he offered. He refused with a sincerity which still lingers on in my mind.

Just when I thought that I would one day see this kids growing up into mature individuals who would have learned to live life on their own terms, they disappeared. The crossings and the sidewalks where they inhabited were suddenly steered cleared of the so called beggars. The CWG as much as brought development and infrastructural pace also left it ripple effects over the nameless faces who are forced to hide somewhere in the unknown streets.

Bheegi Bheegi

2010-09-19T13:24:00.009+05:30

At 4 in the afternoon, the sky was shadowed with dark clouds, there was lightening, thunderstorm and finally it was raining. Just when I started cribbing about yet another day of chaos, traffic jams and potholes, I saw someone.

She was in her mid twenties, wearing a white Chudidar and Kameez, looking elegant yet simple. She had long black hair tied neatly in a braid, big eye lashes and a sharp nose. There was no makeup but a hint of pink color on her lips and kaajal in her eyes. As soon as the rain gathered momentum, her eyes lit up with naughtiness. It was as if she was expecting this, the day she is dressed in her white clothes, she will get drenched. Her vulnerable self wasn’t scared at all, in fact there was smile in her eyes.

As I kept staring in her direction, I could see that her dress was now soiled, hair all messed up, kaajal smudged and lip shade faded but she still looked gorgeous. She is not perfect it seemed but the way she stood there dreaming and dancing surely took my breath away. I couldn’t resist but approach her, I asked her who is she, what’s her name. She looked at me indulgently and whispered in my ears “Dilli”.

Food

2010-09-18T22:22:00.003+05:30

I used to always wonder that how fragrances and music makes me miss people and places. Its only now that I have become a glutton, I have realized that food also reminds me of wonderful times and pleasant occurrences.

This actually started with me craving for Vada Pav, although my love for Vada Pav is very great and I have had it with so many friends and at so many places that I can write an entire book on the same but what distinctly stands out of all of these is the Vada Pav which Dilip Bhai used to get for me and AS. Dilip Bhai is this larger than life, typical Mumbaikar whom we happened to meet in a Branch in Mumbai. It was just for few days when we met him but he insisted that he treat us to the delicacy almost every day.

Gobi Manchurian, something of an Indian and Chinese dish has been a favorite of VB since the time I have known her. When my mom used to pack my lunch for having in college, she would ensure that the quantity of Gobi Manchurian was always enough for the two of us. Today, whenever I have it, I remember VB, though she is just a phone call away, I wish she also would have it with me. The long association I have with her doesn’t stop only at Gobi Manchurian, it extends to Bhel Puri as well. Bhel Puri was the typical item on any DU students’ menu but our fascination for Bhel was more to do with our ever increasing weight than anything else.

Aloo Parantha is ambrosia for my friend VC. He could devour it in no time and the way he elegantly put dollops of white butter would left me envying his super lean body. There was something between him and butter, he would have butter Maggi, butter roti and God knows what all. My dad as I have discovered has super duper culinary skills when it comes to Paranthas and so I miss him each time I have those. SK is anyway all about food but more so about sweets. The sweetheart he is, he would never forget to get me a plate of Ras Malai whenever he would visit Om Sweets in Sec 14, Gurgaon.

Now, since I am at it only I can’t help but mention my school time. I was a member of this trio gang in school and so we used to do everything together. We eventually discovered that all of us loved Chowmein. So, going to the NTPC Club and having Chowmein became something of a habit. Although we thoroughly enjoyed our binging session there was a peculiar thing we would always do. Even if we were dying of hunger, we just ordered one plate and then fought over it with our forks and spoons. It was our definition of friendship may be!

Finally, to add to the above list is Ginger tea served with a sweet gesture and an innovative way of having Subway.

2010-08-12T22:00:00.003+05:30

There are some things in life which make my heart go wide with elation. These things are usually simple chance occasions and thus I tend to forget them, so I thought to pen oops type them down and thus here I am.

I will start with the most recent and uncommon one, some days back on my way to office I saw a pretty and slender girl managing the traffic. She looked so very elegant in her traffic policewoman dress. I loved her grit, her resolve to be standing there in scorching heat and showing the way to us, to the insane drivers on the Delhi roads.

Then there is this one sight which I have loved since the time I was a child. Old couples clutching their hands, crossing the roads or just walking in a park. Love at that age is what mesmerizes me, not that I haven't stolen glances on young couples specially when guys give roses to their girls.

Finally, what is plain joy to my eyes is the rain drop on the leaves, the cute chubby child sleeping, the call from a friend I was missing, old hindi songs, the pictures which my parents clicked when I was a toddler, my first school report card, memory of my grandparents and old birthday cards.

It is so simple to be happy, to find smile for the lips and spark for the eyes.

The Bachelorette!

2010-08-01T12:32:00.005+05:30

Let me put a disclaimer right in the beginning - this post is for girls and I mean it, so all you guys out there, kindly refrain.

Yesterday was a Saturday night out in Delhi and that too with 10 lovely ladies. My friend 20 (we share the name and so to lessen the confusion we call her by her roll number) from MBA days is getting married to her long time boyfriend (sigh, I had a huge crush on him!) and so we thought of throwing a bachelorette party for her. It was supposed to be a surprise and to some extent it was but well she did get some major hints.

After some long chain mail of how the logistics would be managed to what gift would be the best to what should be the theme of the party, we managed to arrange everything and reached Urban Pind for the party. She reached with a couple of friends and tried to look pretty surprised. To get the party moving, everyone ordered drinks and 20 got to cut the cake. I can dedicate a whole post to the cake and RG (the one who came up with the idea) but just to keep you all guessing, it was a pretty 'naughty' thing and all of us kept taking its picture.

Then came some real innovative games where in 20 was asked many embarrassing questions and she being a real sport answered them all. Though in most cases it turned out that she doesn't know her would be husband but such is life. We finally gave her some breather and all of us got into this game where in we let our dirty little secrets out! It was such plain simple unadulterated fun that I wish all my friends get married soon and we get to do this more often.

The party came to an end and we hugged and kissed and hugged some more. Hats off to all the ravishing girls who planned it and loads of love to the soon to be married couple :)

My car

2010-07-17T21:33:00.002+05:30

I don't think I have mentioned it earlier that the brave me drives down to office each day. I was apprehensive initially but now I like it. This is primarily because I get to listen to music and sing songs and in general get pepped up. While driving I also meet various people, usually kids and ladies of which one girl is my real favorite but some other time about that.

So what happened the other day was that I got stuck in a jam and to make matters worse my car got jammed. It just wouldn't move, my first reaction was to give my car a big kick for ditching me like this. After a long tiring day at work, this was the last thing I wanted, but then I had no choice. So, I called my dad, wailed on the phone, he got all anxious and started from home. Now, I had one good hour to kill on the road. To my surprise this one hour went extremely well since the mausam was awesome and I got the time to catch up with good old friends.

This random experience of mine became all the more pleasant because I met so many people who came up to help me. Two guys on their bikes who pushed my car from the back and helped me to take the car to the corner of the road, one uncle who called my dad to tell that what was wrong with the car, a couple of more people who asked if they could drop me somewhere, it was amazing to see how people came forward to extend a hand to some one in distress.

I finally reached home at 11 30 PM and the mechanics who came with dad took the car to the garage. Now its back in shape and I am back to driving it on Delhi roads!

The tale of 2 cities

2010-06-20T17:33:00.002+05:30

Thanks to the travelling involved in my job, I visited two new cities, new in the sense that I hadn't visited them before. And I can't help but confess that I fell in love with both though for fairly different reasons.

In the first week of June, I travelled to Chandigarh. The moment I reached there, I was mesmerized by the clean, green and wide roads. To add to this was the absolute delight of seeing so many sardaars and sardaarnis, and as you know I am such a big fan of surds. Sadly, I couldn't find time to go and roam about the city, but I did catch up with my cousin for a dinner in the very famous Sec 17 and it was nothing less than fantastic. The air gave me such Punjabi, larger than life feeling that I almost wanted to settle down there.

After the feel good Chandigarh trip, it was time to fly down to Lucknow - the city of nawabs. When I landed, there was nothing I liked about it, the small dingy airport, the chaos to find a cab and finally the small roads which led me into the city. I was disappointed to say the least. I then decided to get down to work and therefore took a cycle rickshaw to my office in Hazratganj. After the tiring day at work, we (me and my colleagues) decided to gorge on food. Thanks to SS and his car he took us to some of the nicest chatwallas and kulfi shops. I devoured it all and that's when I started falling for this city. The food - delectable and the people - courteous. They were not just affable but also ever ready to go that extra mile to help. I also got the chance to buy some chikankari and I so totally love what I bought!

Now, I am back to Delhi - my own darling Delhi and just to keep my love for Delhi alive and burning, visited India Habitat Center with two friends last evening, awesome as always it was :)

Childhood dreams

2010-05-31T22:28:00.003+05:30

Last week I was in Khandala for a workshop conducted by my organization, met a lot of new people, liked some and disliked some but had a good experience overall. What surprised me most and by that I mean what pleasantly surprised me most was that I met a junior from my college i .e. Stephen's. I felt so awesomely great on seeing her, though we never knew each other during college days but nonetheless it was great seeing someone from that time.

So that night we just got talking about common friends, the college time dreams and finally how we landed in ICICI. The part I liked the most was about the dreams, I finally found someone who appreciated all the dreams I saw for myself. After the long chit chat with her I decided to come out of the closet and write on my blog about the dreams which still make me smile and some of which I still nurture somewhere in the corner of my heart.

As a young cute chubby girl who loved to dress up I thought of growing up into Miss India. To add to this fancy and lofty dream of mine was my Chachu who would always call me Miss India. Sadly the dream ended soon, thanks to my height. Then was an invention in India, FM Radio and I was so bowled over by it, there was now a job which would pay you for talking and would also let you play your favorite music. I loved the concept, adore the RJs and somewhere deep down I still want to be a RJ.

As years passed, I found myself academically inclined and the world was going the greenhouse way so I thought I would be a scientist working towards preserving the mother nature. This didn't seem viable in India so one more dream crashed. Finally, I thought I could be a writer and this blog you are reading now is a product of that dream!

P.S. - Please pour in with your dreams so that I get comforted with the idea that I am not the only one who dreams :)

Of all the people..

2010-05-05T21:17:00.001+05:30

Of all the people I ever met
you are the one I shall never forget

From morning till sunset
Those days were my best

The first shower that got us wet
Made me forget all the rest

Sweet nothings which once said
Are etched in my heart as yet

One small fight and I was upset
Now its late even to regret

This might be the end of all I felt
But forever will I cherish the moments spent

Of all the people I ever met
you are the one I shall never forget

Being on the other side of the table!

2010-04-25T21:34:00.002+05:30

The title of the post says it all, but the talkative me will still build a story around it, so here I go. I remember the nervous me facing my first interview, I was in school and I was being interviewed for being in the Student council, though all the people who were going to interview me were known to me, I still had butterflies in my stomach and I just prayed that I wouldn't stammer and go blank in front of them. I didn't and ended up being the Vice Head Girl. School got over in an year and now was the time to face the real world, I wanted to get into St Stephen's College, crossed the cut offs and then was called for an interview. I shuddered at the thought, started preparing for the subject, tried to look my best and then went for the interview. I got it and was on top of the world once again. Now, I saw the world with my rose tinted glasses and also thought that interviews were after all not that tough.

But as always, life is never what it seems to be. I began to take my career seriously and started preparing for CAT, with CAT came a lot of associated stuff like GDs and PIs. Slowly and steadily, I was able to cross those hurdles also. Finally, I was staring at the interviews which would make or break my career or at least that's what I felt. I got rejected and selected both, I tasted the feeling of being small, of being at some one else's mercy, of being a rock star and of being able to rule the world in spite of odds. Interviews are a helluva learning experience is what I now feel in hindsight.

Last week was the first time when I sat at the other side of the table, the questions were directed at some one else and I was simply evaluating. I didn't have to think twice about what I should wear or what I would say. Its simple to pass judgements, to say that some one is good or bad. It just takes about a minute for me to decide whether a person should be hired or not. I also feel guilty at times for the power I have to decide but so is nature of my job!

Home sweet home :)

2010-04-19T22:09:00.003+05:30

I am back home, in my small beautiful tidy room, getting pampered all day long and throwing tantrums at the drop of a hat. Thats what perents do to you, they spoil you and then they crib in front of friends and relatives that how the kids are these days! Anyway so the bottom line is that I have kind of grown plump, become extremely lazy and boring.

By the way if I have not mentioned I have also joined a new organization though I have not started really feeling its mine but then I have definitely started working for them. I miss my celebrity status of BoB, here I am a common worker it seems, but then I like slogging it out. It gives me immense satisfaction to complete a task and complete in a better way than it was expected. So though it gets exhausting at times, there are always surprises waiting for you, for example I happened to meet a long time school friend who is on a project and has been sitting out of my office building. It was such a pleasant surprise!

There are also days which are just plain simple boring, tiring and hot but end of the day there is nothing better than coming back to mommy daddy's hug and sleeping like a princess.

Its been an year..

2010-03-18T17:13:00.004+05:30

An year back, we were armed with degrees, we clicked pictures, we hugged tightly, we let a tear trickle and we bid goodbyes. Till where my sight could see, I saw proud parents smiling smugly, ready to take their wards home. It was the day we got convocated, it was the day when for most of us the student life came to an end.

It was so difficult to let go, to accept that never coming back to this place would be a reality. I went back for one last time to get a glimpse of my room, the room which has been a haven in good and bad times, I went back to hug my MDI family again, the two people who lend me everything from money to their shoulders, I went back just so that I get a moment more to stay in the place which gave me so much.

MDI was a helluva experience - friends, love, RG, Jha ji, CG, Arcus, girls gang, dome, parties, placements, open house, night outs, exams, Sharma ji, endless presentations, HR rocks, all of it is so clearly etched in my memory. It was tough to imagine that life would carry on without any of these, but it did. We didn't see each other for days, coped up with random jobs, relocated to different cities but found ways to reconnect. Mega meets and marathon mails gave meaning to a whole lot of missing which we went through.

Now, words fail me and my memory overwhelms me.. so here it goes, this post is a toast to

MDI - a way of life!

End of an era..

2010-03-17T16:44:00.003+05:30

I checked in at 1700 hours on that Delhi bound flight, in all that hustle bustle of goodbyes, documents, luggage etc. I didn’t pay heed to my emotions. After boarding the flight, I realized that I am going back with tears in one eye and twinkle in another. It felt like that I was leaving behind, a great city, a few close friends and a way of life which was new till a few months back.

I remember vividly how upset I was on that train from Ahmedabad to Mumbai. I was anxious and absolutely closed to the idea of leaving my parents and settling on my own. But I am glad that I did, though for a few months only.

My last days in Mumbai were undoubtedly one of the best days of my life. I lived each moment of it all - surprise shopping visits, awesome dinners, crazy dancing, endless treats, random beaches, crying bouts, senti talks ‘n’ walks, stay overs, Poker nights.. The warmth and love which was bestowed on me made me feel so special. It feels like I have always lived with them, each moment, each secret has always been shared with them. My memory fails to remember the time when these people didn’t matter.

It was not just great friends, but supporting bosses, a lovely woman, a caring cook, an inspirational girl, all of whom have left an indelible mark on me.
I am blessed! And I miss you all.

Love

Colors, my favorite colors

2010-03-04T17:13:00.003+05:30

I have loved colors since childhood, when people would ask me about my favorite color I would usually say Pink (the girlie color, you see) . But that time I was very young and very infatuated with pink, as I grew up I realized that each time I was asked the question, I had an urge to give name of a different color. Weird as it may sound, but it is true, that I simply love all colors and not one color is my favorite color. In fact, for some time now, I have been making sure that my wardrobe is full of clothes of various colors so that I could flaunt different colors on different occasions.

Colors also remind me of Holi and the wild ways with which people play Holi. But this Holi was a complete delight because I mostly played Holi with young kids (age upto 5). Since, I was at Mamu house for the Holi weekend, I didn't know many people. I was quietly standing in a corner which attracted a lot of attention from young kids. They came to me with their tanker sized Pichkaaris and attacked me full on :). By the way, I also discovered that if you have younger cousins (age upto 12) specially boys, it could be a bit of a pain. I was the victim of a toli of young and naughty boys for whom holi meant playing with color water balloons. I still shudder from the thought :

Apart from the normal playing holi with young and younger kids, it was a lot of fun to observe the teens and adults. The teens were having time of their lives, rain dancing, flirting and what not. But the adults, hats off to them, they were completely rocking. By adults, I don't mean people like me, but the real adults - the uncles and aunties. I saw so many uncles, who got a chance to hug aunties on the pretext of 'Holi hai!'. It was sometimes amusing and sometimes funny but in retrospect I think it was cute as long as the aunties didn't mind!

Pune Blasts

2010-02-18T16:50:00.003+05:30

Back to normalcy is what the newspapers will read in a couple of days. It is so strange to think of it, that people die and they bleed to die, only so that the society, the city, the country goes back to being normal. We fight, we pray, we weep but at the end we move on, silencing the cries which once were heard loud and clear.

It is not that I have read about the first time about blasts, it is a regular feature for anyone who lives in India, but somehow I am compelled now to write; to at least give this space on my blog to the blasts which have rocked us again.

The blasts happened on a weekend, in a purely innocuous place and took lives of innocent people. I feel disgusted of the extremely pitiful situation we are in. Young and old, Indians and foreigners all of us are equally vulnerable. It is like staring at death in the each single moment that we live. Some people get lucky and some don't. It is surprising that our fundamentals have changed, changed to an extent that instead of celebrating life, we fear life, instead of condemning death, we just put a number to death. Pune blast toll reaches 11.

Resigned..

2010-02-09T17:28:00.002+05:30

On 1st Feb 2010, I put in my papers. I had heard the statement long enough but didn't know what that actually means and which papers will I have to put. So, came to rescue a friend who had recently put in his papers, I asked him what exactly I am supposed to do. He forwarded me a letter, a letter of resignation that is and told me that is all I am supposed to do. I paraphrased that letter and then saved the soft copy on my desktop. The easier part was over, the difficult was left, I had written the letter but hadn't gathered the courage to give it to my Sirs nor I had the audacity to resign without letting them know.

I dilly dallied for a couple of days and then thought that I cannot escape it so I must do it, do it fast and as honestly as possible. I went to each one of them personally and told them that I would be putting down my papers soon. They asked the reason and then wished me luck, in fact I owe them a huge thanks for not making this tough. They were kind and supportive which I think is a real sweet gesture.

Yesterday, its been just 8 months since I started working here and yesterday itself I received the Exit form. It is a strange feeling that I am exiting from here and that too within a span of few months. Also, suddenly I have started feeling that I am not a part of the system anymore. There are formalities to be undertaken, pending stuff to be completed and finally projects need to be handed over and then I will not be the person I was for my first employer. Sigh!

Cruise

2010-02-02T12:46:00.006+05:30

Me and my BoB gang are always looking out for new ways of exploring and enjoying whatever little time we get together. So this Saturday was no different and we wanted to spend our weekend in an unusual way. Somehow, we figured out about this cruise which is an overnight thing and decided to experience it.

We were nine people who were supposed to meet at the Dockyard Station at 7 pm for the on boarding formalities and our cruise was to leave at 8 pm. Thanks to the sleepy me, we were at the Borivali station at 7 pm from where it would take a minimum of 1.5 hours to reach the cruise place. The journey therefore to reach the dockyard station became pretty much exciting, we ran as if it was a marathon, we coaxed the cab driver to drive fast and I made innocent faces to save myself from curses. But thanks to our luck, the super fast train, the cab driver and most importantly the three people (AS, SB, AN) who reached and stopped the cruise for us. Thanks guys :)

Now, is the part on the cruise - we started by exploring the deck and other areas, thereafter had dinner, then danced in the disk and also watched some dance numbers by the dancers (much enjoyed by the boys). The breeze was nice, the people were drunk and I was sleepy. We had the whole night to spend and then was the discovery, the revelation that I am a gambler ;)

My friend SSN, was carrying a pack of cards and he volunteered to teach us Poker, I have never played it and have no idea about it, except that it is gambling. I was just going to opt out of it when I thought that I will be a sport and learn it. After that, there was absolutely no looking back, I played the first few games foolishly and then I was in form, I was the pro. It is an absolute addiction and I loved it. It gives such a high to raise the bar, calculate moves and finally read faces. We played Poker the whole night and in the morning when everyone got up to watch the sunrise, I begged for another game!

After a couple of more hours, we were back from where we started. Of course, the cruise rejuvenated us and also made me realize my inner gambling and risk taking instincts. All my friends utilized their Sunday sleeping and the freaky me cleaned the house whole day :(

School Time!

2010-01-26T21:32:00.005+05:30

It felt like I was back to school, the carefree and old days were back because my closest friends from school were here in Mumbai. I was meeting them after almost 3 years and I am friends with them since the age of 5. It was so refreshing to be able to speak to them after such a long time and start from where we left last time. There was no gap, no void whatsoever just the comfort of being around people who matter.

We chatted, danced, sang, cooked, shopped, visited places and slept over each other. I have come to realize that probably there is nothing better than having your girlfriends around. They have the best advise to give in terms of weight, love issues, dresses and everything under the sun.

I have been very miserable since the past few days but my gloom vanished when I saw them. Though I talked not as much as I am capable of, but I felt better, miles better. The best memory of these wonderful days would be the time when one of them shouted "Look, that's how we would be after some years". When we saw what she was referring to, we couldn't help but smile and wish that would come true. It was these three very elegant ladies with grey hair laughing and chatting in the cab next to ours. Thanks a ton guys for being here, for being with me always, it truly means a lot. I will always miss my most wonderful evening on the Nariman Point, three girls and silence :)

2009 ---> 2010

2010-01-11T16:09:00.003+05:30

Its been good 11 days since the New Year ushered. The date, calender, diaries and many other such things have taken a new form, a new shape and a new meaning. It surprises me that inspite of my wanting to write for past somedays, I didn't and that's primarily because I didn't have the courage and the inclination to put myself bare. This is an attempt to put down in nutshell the major events and to remember all those beautiful people who were a part of these major events.

2009 has been a year of a whole lot of new beginnings. I started my first job, I started living alone in a far off city and for the first time I felt that independence which I have only heard of. Living alone has made me stronger, I feel all grown up and I understand the concept of single woman in a big city. I started doing all the single woman stuff like buying vegetables, taking care of my electricity bills, internet bills and so much more which goes into making a house. I also travelled in the much talked about local trains and went on some really memorable trips - Mt. Abu, Lonavala, Goa and Kashid & Alibaug.

2009 also was an year which brought to end to many things. I finally put a full stop to my studies, in simpler words I was convocated. It was an year of economies going into deep recession and with that all my dreams of getting a high paying job were also quashed. One thing which proabably had the greatest impact on me was that my special friend has become just a friend now. It is indeed very tough to let go but some other time about that.

2010 - I started the first day of the New Year with the CMD of my organization wishing me and giving me a rose for my birthday which happens to be in January and also telling me that I am the youngest of all the people who were present there that day. I had a nice pastry, a yellow rose and lots of good wishes. Just to make the day perfect I kept humming "Allll is Welll" throughout the day, wore a nice and lively smile and visited a temple in the evening. With that I hoped that this will be a year full of happiness and blessings for me and for everyone around.

I sit and think..

2009-12-19T23:51:00.002+05:30

I sit and think
Of the wonder years
Those smiles and tears

I sit and think
Of the carefree childhood
World that looked so good

I sit and think
Of the friends I had
Moments both happy and sad

I sit and think
Of the bright sunny days
Warmth of the rays

I sit and think
Of my first love
Innocent & pure as a dove

I sit and think
Of the endless talks
Breezy late night walks

I sit and think
Of my life that was
If only it could pause..

College Days!

2009-12-17T21:46:00.003+05:30

All of us have vivid memories of our college days and so do I;therefore this post is dedicated to those three wonderful years of my life.

College, my college is counted among the best educational institues of India and so at the age of 17 when I entered its hallowed gates for the first time, it meant stepping into a legacy which I will carry for my life. St. Stephen's, the college which has churned out the best of the politicians, diplomats, journalists, writers is a dream for so many starry eyed students, it was my dream too and by God's grace I realized it.

Stephen's meant meeting some of the best brains, growing up into a mature person, standing up for your beliefs and last but not the least making friends for life. It meant a life where I could dream everyday, discuss philosophy with Vaidehi, sit in the sun and have food which Mommy had given in the tiffin (yes, I used to carry my lunch box to college). The craze for Chinese food, Bhel puri and CAT, all originated there.

I miss college days, life was so much more simple. My world was restricted to the green lawns of the Science Block, a couple of great friends, lab sessions and no worries to take back home.

Nikita - The wonder girl

2009-12-11T22:31:00.003+05:30

Strange enough, I am compelled to write about someone whom I recently met, who meant nothing but a sweet voice on the phone, who was just another colleague in office but only till the time I met her. She is Nikita, one of us, vibrant, bubbly, intelligent, witty and B - School (JBIMS) educated. The one difference albeit a small one; as she makes me believe is that she hears what we see. Yes, very simply put she is visually challenged.

I have never met someone with a disability and so may be I used to have a soft corner or a symapthetic attitude towards them but meeting her changed it all. She doesn't need my or anyone else's symapthy. In fact she is a person who has turned her disability into her strength. The fact that she is a little different from the rest of us, has motivated her to no extent. Apart from the credentials which she has gained in her academic pursuits, she is a person of varied interests. She has a masters in music and sings for the All India Radio, she delivers lectures for people suffering from stress or depression and with all of this she is a full time employee, an efficient one at that for Bank of Baroda.

She has never failed to surprise me, yesterday when I went to her, she touched my sleeve which was a way of acknowledging my presence and then she said "You always wear formals", I was astonished and ended up asking "how do you know", she smiled and said "Your cufflings". As much as I want to believe that she is just like us, the more she proves me wrong. So, now I have conceded that she is indeed different, very different from most of us ; who blame our kismet for the smallest of the challenges we endure.

I wish I could learn just a few things from her - matching jewellery to the dress (yes, she does this to perfection), nonchalantly making fun of self; she happens to be a sardarni and so manages to crack jokes at herself and finally the way she smiles. Its a lovely and content smile which can light anyone's life.

P.S - This is what she told in her introduction once "My motto of life is very simple, as simple as my blood group i.e. B+"

Back to where I don't belong!

2009-11-30T22:45:00.001+05:30

The weekend I waited for weeks is over before I realized, before I could hold on, before I was content..

This Sun, the 29th of November was Ashish's marriage, my friend and my alter ego (we have exactly the same scores in all our personality tests). Way back in 2007, I barely knew him, but I knew he had a girlfriend whom he will marry when we complete our MBA and yesterday he kept his word. Not that I ever doubted his intentions, but it is always nice to see love culminating into life long partnership. The marriage was in Goa, his native place. It was a nice and quiet Indian wedding, the bride looked beautiful in her red saree and the groom was my ever jovial friend. I smiled and just wished them all the happiness in the world. This was not it, in our trip to Goa, another couple announced their wedding. They too looked happy and it seemed just as the perfect ending and the perfect beginning of a new era of relationship, of a new dawn of emotions.

Goa was wonderful, the serene beaches the vast stretch of sand and the friend closest to heart. It doesn't take more for the life to look perfect. I desired for the time to stay still but it didn't and I am back to the house, to the office, where I don't belong. I might have accepted all of it with open arms but my idea of life was never this. I had dreamt of a big house on the beach, a walk on the sand and love at all times. I wished my life to be that simple, that beautiful!

Daddy's Girl :)

2009-11-17T18:01:00.002+05:30

Mumbai looked different yesterday and that is simply because Daddy was coming here. I was all excited to see him and be with him for as long as possible so I carried my stuff to office from where I was to leave for his hotel. I was completely aware of where I was supposed to reach but guess what I reached some where else. I then called him, wailed about the random ways of Mumbai and then finally reached his hotel. So, I was kind of pondering over this that its been a long time since I stopped losing my ways. When I was young, it used to be a regular phenomenon. We lived in a township of 6 Km radius and there I would lose my way so so very often. When I started going to college, I continued the trend. But as I moved to hostel and then to Mumbai, I got used to figuring out my ways. So it seemed like that since Papa was here and I could call him and be baby like all over again I lost my way. I wanted him to tell me "Beta where are you, I will come", he did and that's all I needed :)

This was not all, last month when I visited home, we went on a short trip to Agra. The calorie conscientious me was as usual busy counting what all I had and so on. But suddenly, Papa asked "Beta, what dessert you want?". I needed that trigger and lost all all my sense of calories and weight. I wanted Ras Malai, so there he was in Agra at 10 pm trying to find that elusive sweet. When he finally did manage to get it for me, I just could not stop smiling. The effort which had gone in finding the sweet meant that my daddy loves me as much as he did when I was a three year old. He still is happy and willing to pamper me :)

It is pretty evident from this post but just for the sake of gloating.. I am a born daddy's girl and ya now the owner of a nice new 5800 Music Express phone which he got for me. So, I will rather end this post and here I go to call him.

Songs..

2009-11-09T22:04:00.003+05:30

How often it happens that songs conjure up memories.. memories of people, of places, of moments, of childhood, of happy times.. Songs have always had a special place in my life, the lyrics, the music takes me into another world all together.

I still remember the magic which "Pehla Nasha" had on me. I was in school, guess 8th standard, first time crush on this cute guy from my class. This song made me blush and made me smile and I just wanted to dance with him. It is all together a different matter that later I associated the same song with lots of other crushes as well :) Sometimes it was the craze of DDLJ and sometimes KKHH but all of them had their own charm and my own dreams associated with them. I can still vividly recall the school farewell where we played "Yaroon Dosti" and hugged and cried and cried. That song meant the entire world at that point of time. It was "Papa Kehte Hain" during college, "Maa" when away from mommy dearest, "Ye Ishq Hai" when love was blossoming, "Mehfuz" in those tender moments and finally on occasions of apparent heart breaks "Ya Rabba" and "Tere Bin Nahi Lagda" did the trick. When my special someone was coming to see me after a long time, all I could hum was "Tere Aane Ki Jab Khabar" and finally as I end this post and look outside my window, the perfect song is playing in the background "Chandni Raatein.."

I wish I was a song too.. happy and sad but complete in its own beautiful way :)

Meaning

2009-10-31T22:21:00.004+05:30

As it happened, I was going on and on about some random happenings with a friend on phone, when suddenly we started talking about work. I don't know where it came from but I told him, that I am working and happily so because I think it is meaningful work. Different people have different notions about their work. Some work for the pure pleasure for money, some to pass their time, some because its fashionable and some simply because they derive meaning out of it. I don't know how many people will concur with me but I strongly believe that without value, without meaning there is no point. And this philosophy of mine, goes beyond work. Just to give an example, a relationship is beautiful and fulfiling, till the time each individual adds meaning to it. The day there is no exchange of thoughts and I mean the value adding thoughts or feelings, that day a relationship should end.

I might be stretching this a bit too far but that's what I believe in. Meaning or nothing.

Memories live forever..

2009-10-25T16:29:00.002+05:30

Dear ones come and just go by
Never will they return howsoever we may try
When they leave they bring so many tears
For we had a relationship strengthened over years
What remians are impressions on the heart
In a short while we are miles apart
The distance may be due to death or anger
But everything has ended only in a whimper
For sometime we go insane
Mind is full of sorrow and pain
All this doesnt bring an end to life
We have to live and constantly strive
Why had they come if they had to go
Just to impart love for a day or so
People die and relationships end
We are left with tears to shed
Deep inside there remains a gap
Which gradually heals in time's lap
We pick up the broken pieces & start anew
Sorrow goes and there is joyness new
For there are memories to cherish both sweet & sour
Of all those happy moments and hours..

एक शेर

2009-10-23T17:53:00.003+05:30

पास तुम हो,
पास तेरे मैं भी हूँ
पर ऐसा कुछ भी नही
जो तेरे पास का एहसास हो

- अशोक सिन्हा

Of work and bosses!

2009-10-14T14:39:00.003+05:30

Last Sunday was a day to connect, connect with the batch mates from MDI, all of whom have landed in this city, this city of dreams and well jobs. So the plan was all complete, with marathon mails from all quarters, we zeroed on the venue and time. I reached there to find a couple of my friends already waiting. It was sooo good to see them again, felt like we were back in college, the place where we have undoubtedly spent two of our most beautiful years. After the usual rounds of hugs and handshakes it was time for some serious discussion.

We started one by one narrating, criticizing, mocking and praising (rarely though) our respective jobs and bosses. It was in a way homecoming to be able to talk so candidly about life and associated stuff with people you know and have lived with. But in a way it was different because our issues have changed. In college life revolved around CGPA, projects and picking proffs, now its about work and bosses. The strange part is that the issues might be different, the city might have changed but what remains same and definitely unmatched is an evening well spent with friends.

By the way if I haven't mentioned the discussions also usually wander towards marriage. With a couple of them either getting engaged or married, it seems like there is a naked sword hanging on every one's head, it just remains to be seen that who gets caught into the trap first and who can dance away to glory till the last.

That's all for now. Signing off with a smile :)

P.S. - The guys haven't changed, they still look exactly the same, dishevelled I mean
The girls for sure look more elegant and prettier than before.

That moment of truth

2009-09-09T21:42:00.002+05:30

Walking in the twilight I followed my shadow
Looking beyond the horizon so yellow
Waiting to discover the meaning of life
Craving as if my heart was slaughtered with a knife

Blowing breeze then caressed my hair
Embracing it I felt no fear
Whispering something in my ear
Something which I couldnt hear

But I no longer felt like a fallen leaf
Or a peck of broken glass from the sheaf
That moment of truth made me sane
I want to play, dance like a child again...

My people..

2009-08-30T13:10:00.002+05:30

Today, I woke up in the morning with a twinge somewhere deep down, I knew the reason but was trying to avoid it. It had to happen sooner or later but somehow the suddeness of it took me by surprise. Not only I am not ready but also I don't want to let go off so soon. I am myself amazed by the heartache I am going through but knowing myself it is natural.

From the day I came to Mumbai, I found a set of people - caring, stubborn, cute, enthu, wierd and what not but they are MY people. Within no time we became friends and when I say friends, I mean it. We started spending a lot of time and in the process got to know each other. We would share our all secrets and fears and just be together all the time

Since I am feeling senti, I would rather introduce you to the closest of the lot. To begin with its the people I live with..
Iti, she is my roomie and also the most energetic and enthu person I have ever met in my life. She cares for one and all, makes friends right, left and center and also kisses me out of love and affection :)
Ashima, my partner in our branch training is one of the prettiest females in the entire world and to everyone's delight, she is still single ;) A person who understands, cares and is absolute fun to be with.
Then comes the person because of whom I am writing this post, Sujata - the homely, the scary and the Aunty. Homely because she cooks for all of us when our cook doesn't, scary because she can scare the shit out of me, thanks to her curly long hair and big eyes and finally aunty because that's what the guys like to tease her with.
Also, I can't help but mention the guys.. first its Ankit - the cute looking, all time blushing friend I made here, then its Subrat - the guy who wants to get fair, grow hair and who plans all our outings. Last but not the least its Kislay - the forever good boy and responsible kinds.. I have much more to say but that certainly can't be expressed in words. May be just that I will miss you all wherever and whenever..

Far and away

2009-08-28T16:10:00.002+05:30

Distance is a humbling experience.. it makes you long, it makes you cry and finally it makes you realize the importance of the taken for granted people in your life. In my life also there are people like these mainly my parents and my closest friends to whom I am really attached to but for reasons obvious and obscure, I can't see them as often as I would want to.

So, as it happened I was missing this really dear and special friend of mine and he decided to visit me here in Mumbai. Given the sweetness of his gesture, I decided to make his stay as perfect as possible. I started out with a long list of eating out places in Mumbai, took reviews and recommendations from many of my friends and zeroed on a couple of them. I also thought that I would take him to Bandstand, Marine Drive, temples, Colaba, Pheonix mills etc. etc. and all this would be packed in a day. Now when my itinery was complete I started waiting anxiously for him.

The day arrived and so did he, I looked at him, gave him a big bear hug and then in a flash of moment remembered all the beautiful moments spent with him. After a few minutes when I came to terms with the fact that I am actually meeting him, I completely chucked all my grand outing plans which I had been making for the past 2 months. His presence and just the fact that he is around was enough to make our time together memorable. We spent our few hours either in silence or in smiles. There was not much to say or listen. It was like contentment, it was like coming back to life.

But as all beautiful things come to an end, this one also did. I bid him goodbye with moist eyes and heavy heart. I came back alone to my place, felt upset and felt sad but then distance also teaches you to value, to miss and then to carry on..

Happy Singh rocks!!!

2009-08-24T00:28:00.002+05:30

An evening with friends became so special and memorable because of Happy Singh and so this post is dedicated to the cutest, funniest and the most adorable Happy Singh. Now I didn't really know about Happy Singh and visited him for the first time today after my friends' brother mentioned about him. The moment I heard his name it reminded me of Punjab, the land of great food and generous hearts and so I insisted that we visit Happy Singh and no one else.

As it turned out a few of my friends were reluctant to meet him. But after a lot of persuasion we went to him and to our pleasant surprise Happy Singh had a big place (in a city like Mumbai, spacious places are a rarity). He made all of us feel comfortable in his big mansion which was decorated with his pictures (yes, he is a narcisst). He then started chit chatting with us in his own sweet punjabi accent, his english or rather hinglish was quite funny and we just couldn't stop laughing. After a round of jokes and gup shup, we were served a sumptuous dinner which consisted of lip smacking dishes like paneer makhani, dal makhani, aloo jeera, butter nan and drinks. We were just about to thank Happy Singh when he put the icing on the cake and got us jalebi with rabri.

End of the day Happy Singh just made me soooo happy that I want all my friends to meet him and be as happy as I am today. Thanks Happy singh, thanks for the lovely time and the great food. Will visit ya soon again. Till then miss ya ;)

P.S - Happy Singh is a restaurant in Saki Naka Mumbai, highly recommended.

One last time..

2009-08-18T22:44:00.003+05:30

I wanna be close to you one last time
for I know you were once mine

I wanna embrace you one last time
& relive that rain, that sunshine

I wanna kiss you one last time
engulf myself in dreams sublime

I wanna dance for one last time
rock in your arms and feel the rhythm divine

I wanna cry for one last time
in your lap, I would be fine

I wanna be one, just one last time
for that is pure and not a crime...

Weekend to remember..

2009-07-27T18:50:00.004+05:30

Today let me introduce you to people whom I am really close to - Mamu, mami, Luv and Kush. It might seem like I am talking of relatives and cousins but to tell you the truth, these are people with whom I share a special bond of love and warmth. They live in Mumbai, yes the same city as I do but I am not able to meet them often, blame it on the bad traffic of Mumbai or plain simple busy lives. But, this weekend I decided to go to their place and be with them. I have to agree that this was one of the coolest and nicest weekends in Mumbai. The reasons are varied and many which I will disclose in the course of my post.

Firstly, the sheer feeling of being almost at home can beat anything and everything in the world. So, that's what I felt there, I felt that I am almost at home. I was pampered to the hilt and who doesn't like it. I shopped, ate and got a hair cut. All of which gave me immense sense of happiness. Secondly what I love about Mamu's place is the locality, he lives in Navi Mumbai, just off the Palm beach road, its beautiful and clean surroundings made me think if I am in some other city and not in the ever dirty and ever stinking Mumbai.

Last but not the least, I kind of relived a part of my childhood with Luv-Kush. I played a game called business with them, I got so engrossed that completely lost the sense of time, also I saw them getting ready for next day at school, completing their homework, making charts and packing bags. It was then that I started getting nostalgic about my school days - the best and the most beautiful days of my life. How I wish, I could get all of that back, that carefree and blissful life..

Her Only One

2009-07-10T18:40:00.003+05:30

Eyes that say a thousand words
Fingers which tenderly touch

Lips that feel like pink petals
Cheeks as if a shining metal

Voice which sings a mellifluous melody
Smile that lights moods many

Tresses as soft as fur
The fragrance which follows her

Has been waiting for someone
Someone who deserves to become
Her love, her dream, her only one..

My new house, my new city!!

2009-07-06T22:21:00.003+05:30

I am now based out of Mumbai, Mumbai - the city of dreams. Its been exactly 16 days when I arrived with my bag and baggage in this city. I can't claim to know this city much given my duration of stay here but have definitely loved it and hated it for eclectic reasons.

For all the Mumbai lovers, I will start with what mesmerizes me. First and foremost, its the sea, the sea which spreads from one corner to the other, from Juhu to Worli, the sea which makes you fall in love, the sea which just lets you be. With sea comes the weather which fortunately has been pleasant from the very first day, the breeze which is an integral part of my 19th floor flat is one of the best things about my house. Another thing which has come as a wonderful surprise is the fact that here autos and taxis run only by meters, to someone like me who is a Delhiite, its an alien concept but at the same time quite welcoming.

Now, coming to the parts which I have started detesting already. Let me begin with the most debatable - the Local. Yes I have travelled in the local train and it was one of the worst experiences of my life to say the least. In fact it is inhuman to travel in locals at the rush hour. People seemed like ants and cockroaches, one above the another without a sense of space. There is no space to breathe, forget the fact that one could sit or stand. I could smell each person, I could feel the sweat, the touch of countless women whom I don't even know. They fight, they curse, they abuse and then jostle for the air. Isn't it a basic human right to be able to breathe?? Also, whoever says that Mumbai is going to be our Shangai or something is definitely dreaming. The infrastructure of the city is crumbling down each passing day. One rain and its all flodded with water.

This city is good and is bad but it is also unique in its own special way. Its accepts and assimilates people, people from all walks of life but it needs strength and support to go on.

Staff College, Bank of Baroda, Ahmedabad

2009-06-07T22:56:00.002+05:30

It was yesterday about 11:30 am when we (4 of us, all joining BoB) reached Staff College, Bank of Baroda, Ahmedabad. Apprehensions, anticipations and expectations with so many things on our mind, we entered the college. It was a simple reception where we kept our bags and waited for someone to escort us to our rooms. Soon, a person came and helped us take our bags and stuff to our rooms, my first impression for the room was - NICE. The rooms we were given were not overtly flashy or luxurious but are so comfortable and cozy that we fell in love with them.

I was tired from the last night spent in train so crashed soon. When I got up from my long nap, there were lots of new faces in the college - people who would be my new friends, collegues and much more. We are about 40-45 students from all across top B - Schools namely IIMA, IIMC, MDI, XLRI, IIML, IIMK, SPJain, IIFT, NMIMS, IMT. I met most of them during lunch and dinner in mess. We exchanged the usual pleasantries and then gave our intros and then sat down to have sumptuous food being served with such warmth and affection that it felt like home.

Today was the day kept aside for paper work and so the better part of the day was spent doing that only but in the evening we left for Karkaria Lake. It was a beautiful and clean lake, although the place was really crowded but I felt great being there. I loved the the cool breeze that embraced me, the little kids who were playing in the toy trains, the families who were enjoying their weekend outing. I think I have already started falling in love with the city - Ahmedabad - the city of Mr. Modi.

Last class

2009-06-04T22:48:00.002+05:30

Yes, the day arrived when I took my last classes at Edumentor. It was a strange feeling, I felt sad for sure but don't know why. There has been no doubt that it was a great learning experience but I never knew that leaving my students would bring such a heartache along. I have been pondering about the reasons of my being sad. Besides the obvious reason that I will miss my students, I think there is another one playing along. It may come across as a confession but I think its high time now that I come out with it.

From the first day when I started teaching, one predicament which I faced was that there were students of varying capability and intellect levels. Some were fast learners and others were slow, I decided to make it a point to take everyone along while teaching so that all of them gain from the class. As much as I wanted to take the class along, there might have been instances where some of my students couldn't catch up. So this post is dedicated to all those who felt that they were left behind. I had my limitations, in terms of time, in terms of demands from others but believe me all of you were equal for me and from the bottom of my heart I wish you all success and luck.

Also, I would like to share an opinion which might sound elitist or something but anyway I would still like to share. In almost all my batches, the students who faced most difficulty were from government schools. With all due respect to the efforts taken by Education Secretary, I would like to ask that sure these students passed their board exams but are they ready to challenge the ever increasing competition? I think not, I think there is still a long way to cover before we can see equality between the education imparted by private schools and the govt schools. With this I end my today's post. I have a train to catch for Ahmedabad tomo so hoping for a new day a new journey. God Bless!!!

Teaching

2009-06-01T11:33:00.002+05:30

Today I am enjoying a full fledged holiday, thanks to my students' exam on 2nd all of us (their teachers) have got an extended weekend. I got up leisurely at around 10 am, then had a good breakfast and after that have just been whiling away time. One thing which has occupied my mind since morning is my students and so I thought of writing about them.

First, I have to agree to the fact that I started teaching only to utilize my time during the 2-2.5 months of holiday which I got post MDI and pre joining BoB. It was also a way to get some decent pocket money and well that's about it. It never dawned on me that I could actually like teaching, but somehow it soon became a part of everyday life. I used to always ponder that why my professors, the real good ones left high paying cushioned jobs to teach us. I think I have got the answer now.

When I went to teach the first day, it was an unfamiliar setting. A group of 40 students all 18 year old were waiting for me to give some kind of intro and then may be start teaching. I told them candidly about myself, what I do, why I am teaching them and then I smiled. They smiled back and then there was no looking back. I started taking classes everyday, met around 500 students who are all young, raring to go, carefree and sweet all at the same time. I enjoyed teaching them and by the feedback I received I got to know that they liked being taught by me. Yes, not everything was hunky dory all the time, there were days when they didn't want to study, when I expected a little more of them, when they tried to act over smart, when I lost my temper and so on and so forth.

Now, when I am nearing the end of these classes, it seems like I am leaving a part of my life. The amount of respect and love which they have showered over me is immense and I am surely going to miss it. In the last week I wrapped up my classes with a couple of batches, with a twinge of sadness I said "Goodbye guys, do well in life.. I will miss you all". It was indeed true, I have already started missing them. I have a couple of more classes to go and then that will be all..

When I die

2009-05-28T22:15:00.002+05:30

When I die
Who will cry?

The friends I forgot
or the foes I got
The parents I lost
or the kids I sent abroad
The wife I fought
or the money I sought

When I die
Who will cry?

Marriage of Maddy :)

2009-05-24T22:21:00.003+05:30

24th May 2009, today is that auspicious day when my beautiful roomie (Maddy) is getting married to her long time boyfriend. Maddy was my next door neighbour in the first year of MBA and then was my roomie in the final year. We met each other on the very first day at MDI. I was with my parents who were trying to make the hostel room perfect and cozy for their darling daughter ;) and in Maddy's room was a guy who was helping to clean up and make the room comfortable for his eerrrrrr girlfriend/sister/friend.. I didn't know then and to make matters worse my mother said "I think the girl's brother has come to drop her". But it was soon when Maddy made it clear to one and all that she was committed and completely in love with the guy who came to drop her.

Days passed and I got to know Maddy more than just the pretty looking neighbour. She came across as one of the most creative and smart people around. Her insatiable desire for trivia and movies and music and coffee and endless other things always amazed me. I got to know her more closely as a person when we started sharing the room. It was her sheer presence which would light up our room. I have met really few people like her -who are at peace with themselves, who can smile when they get up from the bed and who are so genuinely nice.

Being roomates and friends we had many discussions about our boyfriends and love life. One thing which was always a pleasant surprise for me was the understanding which they shared. They had joined bank accounts, bought a car and emptied all their savings and all this when they were not married. I asked her once isn't this too much of a risk and how can she be so sure of a person and she said something so profound. It went like "Neha, till the time we don't make an effort to be sure of the person, we will never be". These words will forever be etched in my memory and I hope that I am able to apply them in my life someday.

Finally, our two years at MDI were coming to an end, he came again to take Maddy back and to pack the bags of his girlfriend and now would be wife. Today they are getting married. I just wish them all the love and happiness in the world. How I wish I could be there to hug you Roomie..

Summer Funk 2009

2009-05-22T21:38:00.002+05:30

Today was the culmination of the Summer Funk classes of the Shaimak Davar Institute. There were hundreds of students, ranging from the age of 2 to 50. The Siri Fort Auditorium was packed with performers, parents, relatives and our instructors. We wore costumes which no one in their right mind would ever wear. We looked funny in purple and green colored satin short skirts on which we stuck ticklies (a shiny silvery coin kind of thing) but I would like to believe the audience including my parents who said we looked good if not fabulous.

In those glittering lights where all of us were either anxious or excited to perform, there was also present a group of very special children. Yes, the children who were challenged, autistic or dyslexic. They were also there to perform, dressed up in their white shiny costumes all decorated with ticklies (this is a standard thing). I don't know how they felt performing in the front of such a large audience but it was their sheer presence on the stage which made me get goosebumps. They put up a fantastic show, it was a performance where they showed their colors, their moves and their innocent smiles. It was nothing but the best.

These kids get trained in the Shaimak's Victory Art Foundation for special children. It is his way to reach out to them and I feel with this thought of his, he reached out to all of us. I just prey and hope that someday somewhere I can do my small bit for these children - the God's Children.

God Bless!!!

Flame

2009-05-19T22:44:00.002+05:30

Deep down there is a flame
Which flickers still
And tells me not to blame
Myself for this nil..

Deep down there is a flame
Which keeps alive as if sublime
It inspires me to shed the shame
For it’s not my fault this time

Deep down there is a flame
Which refuses to die
And reminds me of my aim
Those starts and the sky..

Deep down there is a flame..
Which is my only ray of light
It believes that I can go and claim
For I just need to fight..

Love lost..

2009-05-18T22:45:00.003+05:30

This post is inspired by a real good friend of mine who is going through a rough patch in his love life. Let's call him SK, first about him and me.. he has been one of the best friends I have made during my B - School days, not only is he caring and loving but a true genius and a gem of a person. When we met in college then he had recently started going around with this cute looking chubby girl from his office. Now, since he was back to college she started visiting him in our college which happened to be in the same city as the office in which they met. When she would be in college, they would often feed Maggi to each other and sip tea from one cup.

Days passed and I saw them happy and content. Not that there were no fights or misunderstandings but somehow things would always return back to normal and I would find them holding hands or snuggling together once again. It was their playful banter, their discussions of their future life and their happy selves which would repose my faith in love and relationships.

Two years passed and we graduated armed with our MBA degrees, in the meantime SK's girlfriend moved to another city because of her job. Slowly and steadily their conversations reduced, they couldn't meet as often as they did before. Things did not seem quite right between them, they had more frequent fights now over a myriad of things. They even started feeling that they wouldn't be compatible and yes finally they broke up.

SK misses her and perhaps loves her also, that's only for him to decide. But what touched me the most is his concern for her well being. He says he is fine but his girl or as he would call it - his bachha lives alone in a far away city and has few friends. He prays daily for her so that she gains the strength to be able to overcome this heart break soon. I too pray SK and I am sure she was blessed to have a person like you in her life.

Why are heart breaks so painful, and why do all of us have to go through them sooner or later. Wouldn't life be much more easier and beautiful if we didn't have to go through this ordeal..

Life..

2009-05-16T23:18:00.003+05:30

In the hey days of my life
I knew no suffering, no strife

Blessed with money and fame
I resolved to play a vicious game

The big bad world lured me
There was no looking back, I could see

My hunger for power was insatiable
I had become ruthless and formidable

Then something happened and I got caught
All the riches and clout I lost

The ignominy of my misdeeds followed me
I could never breathe easy, never be free

Years passed and my youth faded
I am left weak and jaded

My end is near so I know
With no one on my side, I feel so low

Give me a chance for I need to mend
My sins and crimes before I am dead..

Delhi men/boys..

2009-05-15T23:23:00.002+05:30

It was around quarter past 7 when I was coming back from my dance class in Noida. I noticed suddenly that a guy was following me on his bike, first I tried to ignore but then grew sceptical of his continuous trail. I was trying to speed up but got caught on the next red light, he halted his bike right next to my car and was trying to catch my attention. In no time, he wanted to converse and was asking me to speak to him. All this was happening on a very busy Noida road, my mind was racing on what all he can do - bump his bike on to my car, follow me till my house or any other thing which I didn't want to think or imagine. I also thought about what I can do - the only thing that came to my mind was to call on the number 100, but would it really help? I don't know.. Thankfully, after having scolded him and taking a round or two here and there, I managed to confuse him and reached home safe and sound. The only question which my mind asks "Am I safe in Delhi".

When I came back home, I read the newspaper report about the girl Aarushi who was found murdered in her house in Noida last year and CBI stilll has to file a final report. Till when will the girls and women be subjected to this kind of treatment. When will justice prevail? When?

House Warming :)

2009-05-14T23:27:00.002+05:30

I am back from another of my short trips. This time I didn't go for travel or holiday purpose but, for keeping up the tradition of visiting my hometown Roorkee. Also, this time round it was not just reconnecting with my grandparents and uncles and aunts (Oh God, it sounds sooo distant.. let me call them what I call them chachu, chachi, mamu and mami) but also a family function. It was the house warming ceremony at my chachu's place. People came from everywhere, distant relatives whom I do not recognise and remember were present and announced their presence with bear hugs and pleasantries.

The function was to take place today morning and was preceeded by a Jagran last night. The function went well except for the palatial house which was soon turned into something entirely different. Just to give a short account of what happened - the beautiful curtains were subjected to the dirt and oil of numerous hands, the spotless and color co-ordinated bedsheets were not to be recognized, the sofas bore the jumps and fights of small kids and many more such heart wrenching things happened. The house warming ceremony ended but what starts now is a month long renovation. I wish my chachi patience and good luck for the coming days and well if I haven't told you before then Chachu, this was the best house I have ever seen :)

P.S. - For everyone else please be a little considerate towards your relatives/friends/neighbors belongings and feelings.

Distance...

2009-05-11T01:06:00.003+05:30

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
For there are memories to cherish and remember

Sitting on the edge of my window I miss
That breeze, that rain and our first ever kiss

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Now, I take time to think and ponder

If your eyes also search for my one sight
For I light my dreams with you each night

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
I realize today when growing older

With you I was a child showered with love and affection
I need you again to give my life a new direction

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
My joys and sorrows crave for your shoulder

Come back to me, for I will hold you
And start our beautiful world anew

Distance makes the heart grow fonder...

The D Day!!!

2009-05-07T22:47:00.003+05:30

Today was 7th May, the day which will seal the fate of Congress or BJP or whichever party.. well I am not here to get in to the nitty - gritty's of poll results but what I want to share here is something odd which I noticed, odd may be because it's the first time I voted or may be because it really was odd. After months of campaigning, no not just by the politicians but all others like NGOs, public figures etc. for making people aware of their right to vote, it was disheartening to see two men sitting at the booth for their election duty who were uncooperative to say the least. They were not even remotely interested in answering innocuous questions of the voters. I, who went there with my passport (coz I don't have a voter id) asked that where could I get my voter id from. I got a terse reply which was "Madam ji, hamara kaam nahi hai ye, hume nahi pata". First this reply not only highlights their ignorance but also shows their attitude which was bordering on the verge of being rude. It was like they were trying to undo what all others have been trying to achieve by urging us to vote. Nonetheless, nothing could dampen the nice feeling which I got after voting.

On another note, today I got into a discussion with a friend about the parties(Congress and BJP) we have voted for. This discussion or rather debate stretched a wee bit longer since both of us vehemently disapprove of the other party. We got into facts, riots, development, farmers, jobs.. possibly everything we could to prove our point but we couldn't reach a conclusion. In any case, that discussion gave me a broader perspective to think over, though my ideas did not change but it was satisfying to have a meaningful conversation with a friend.

Now, I think I should go off to sleep, have a train to catch early in the morning.. if I haven't told already then I am going to Kasauli. This small holiday is a present for my parents who will be celebrating their 25th marriage anniversary on 9th May :) More about this trip in my next blog. Till then see ya.

The first rain!!

2009-05-04T22:22:00.000+05:30

I was back in the scorching heat after taking classes in the coaching institute and there was absolutely no sign of rain. It was a hot, sultry afternoon and soon after having lunch I dozed off. At about 5 pm when I left my home for the gym, suddenly I was greeted by a big raindrop on my hand. I was surprised or should I say flabbergasted with the raindrop that my first instance was to run towards the gym. But soon it stuck me that I love rain, I have always loved the intoxicating smell of the soil which gets wet by the rain drops. In fact as a child I would water my garden so that I could recreate the magic of that fragrance. It was never the same, the wet garden though would create an illusion of a downpour for a moment or so, but it could bever be close to the actual feeling which a rain imparts. I learned my lesson that the most beautiful things in life are the mainstay of only the almighty and no one else. But that doesn't mean that I stopped watering my plants, I continue to do that but without the expectations of that fragrance.

In the meanwhile, today's rain boosted my energy level in the gym and brought a smile on my face. Hope it did the same and better things for many of us!

The end of weekend

2009-05-03T22:40:00.000+05:30

Well, I am back from my weekend shopping trip. When you live in Delhi and GIP, Noida (Great India Place) is like 15 minutes from your place then it's kinda imperative to visit it once a week. I shopped for shades and floaters but apart from the usual shopping bit which all girls love, there was something intriguing which I noticed today.

After having bought four pair of shoes, I was tired and decided to have chaat at the roadside chaatwalla. While I was savouring the lip smacking tikki chaat I noticed that there was one shop where all the people wanted to have chaat and there was a queue which was being formed and just a step away there was another shop which had not even one customer. Was that poor man's shop and the chaat so bad that no one wanted to have it or was it as usual the herd mentality which plagued us once again??

Also, there was a strange sense of unity in diversity. Since it was a road side shop, the not so rich can afford it and the rich.. well what to say, were ordering it sitting in their spanky cars. I felt that all of us, the Indians are somewhere bound by the same principles, we enjoy the same small outings and the good old yummie chaat.

The weekend has come to an end and tomo is going to be a new day. I will be back to teaching my students (yes I haven't told you). These days I teach students preparing for their BBA entrance exams and I must confess, it is one of the nicest experiences of my life. More about this experience later when I actually meet them.

Till then, good night and sleep tight.

After a long time

2009-05-03T15:36:00.000+05:30

I am writing here today, after more than a year.. why this hiatus was there is something which even I can't comprehend. May be it was to do with the fact that I being a student of one of India's premier B School was caught up with myriad things or may be it was just about being lazy or it could be as plain as the fact that I didn't care enough about wrtiting.. the way I used to do when I was in school.

So what suddenly happened that I was propelled to write? It was yesterday when I felt once again that I liked writing. I was actually cajoled into writing by a close friend who wanted me to write about him.. well I know it sounds strange, but that's how it is. This friend of mine required a write up of a page about himself because that is what his company required. So after a lot of coaxing and blackmailing, I sat down last evening to write about him. After about an hour I was surprised not just by the write up but by the fact that how it is giving me a nice goody goody feeling. I was thanked profusely by my friend and then it stuck me, blogging.. here is my chance to feel nice evryday.

As I write this blog, I am contemplating about that fact that why I like writing. The answer which I can figure out instaneously is that I have always been really really talkative. I love talking.. talking about feelings, thoughts, political issues, random gup - shup.. all of it. but somehow somewhere when one grows up he/she starts getting monitored. The person is being advised to act all mature, measure his/her words.. in short just speak less and well just speak the relevant stuff. So I think it is that pent up desire to talk more and more and share all little things of life.

With that note, I will end this entry. Will tell you more tomorrow.. about the bright sunny(literally) day, about the shopping which I am going to do today and well much more. Stay tuned.

Love Neha

Inspire

2008-02-05T20:15:00.000+05:30

To touch the blue sky
Leave the fear of falling from high

To feel the radiant sun
Not regretting the burn

To explore the beauty of nature
In the midst of all dangerous creature

To kiss the twinkling star
Forget the loneliness so far

To be a lotus in algae so grey
spreading fragnance in every way

To look beyond the horizon
Opposing the pragmatic reason

To imagine the depth of sea
Fly like a bird so free

To get enlightened by fire
Not to visualize it as one's pyre

To keep believing in God above
Even after losing one's love

To just be a symbol of humanity
And realize this life's sanctity.

मैं हूँ खामोश..

2008-02-05T20:08:00.001+05:30

मैं हूँ खामोश मेरे अल्फाज़ सुनो..
मेरी साँसों में गूंजती
अपनी आवाज़ की झंकार सुनो
मेरी आंखों में बसे ख्वाबों का
तुम हो फनकार सुनो
मेरे कमरे के कोने कोने में
अपनी पर्चियों की धड़कन सुनो
मेरे लडखडाते हुए कदमो में
अपनी मदहोशी के किस्से सुंनो
मेरे हर लव्ज़ में
अपने नाम की पुकार सुनो
मेरे टूटे हुए दिल में
अपनी धड़कने सुनो

मैं हूँ खामोश मेरे अल्फाज़ सुनो...
पंछियों की चेह्चाहात में
मेरी खिलखिलाती हसी सुनो
तन्हाइयों की रातों में
भीगी पलकों की सिसकियाँ सुनो
कांच के शीशे पर जमी बारिश की बूंदों की तरह
दबे हुए मासूम सवाल सुनो
खिलते हुए फूलों की खुशबू में
मेरी साँसों की सरगम सुनो
खितिज को छुटी लहरों में
मेरे तमन्नाओ के गीत सुनो'कहने को अब कुछ नही बाकि
मेरे दिल के जज्बाद सुनो

मैं हूँ खामोश मेरे अल्फाज़ सुनो...

In The Middle Of Night

2008-02-05T19:57:00.000+05:30

About the poem - I have tried to write about how a prostitute feels, dont know if i have been able to do justice to her feelings.

I feel safe in the middle of night
For no one's here to ask for my plight
This dead silence lets me go on my flight
Away from this world's cruel sight

I feel humble in the middle of night
When my beauty vanishes without light
And there is no one to hold me tight
At last, I got this long awaited respite

I feel innocent in the middle of night
Untouched and pure like snow white
I want to value myself if I might
For all those times when I dont unite

I feel wanted in the middle of night
When no one uses me as his birthright
My heart is full of ecstacy and delight
Not from carnal desires but my soul's insight

I feel free in the middle of night
Huddled in this dingy room not bright
Dawn is here as I end this write
And prepare myself for another day another fight

I feel rich in the middle of night
Without the money which was showed in twilight
You cannot buy me even with wealth infinite
My story I know sounds very trite..

First Dance

2008-02-05T19:45:00.001+05:30

Like an infant in the cradle
I rocked in his arms and penned this fable

The sweet lucid lyrics of the song
Made me forget right and wrong

He looked at me as if a rainbow in the sky
My heart skipped a beat & I felt so shy

My silky black hair acted as a veil
But his one touch & I let my self sail

He held me close & his lips touched mine
As if a thirsty soul tasted french wine

My fingers then reached his soft hair
And got entwined without any care

I envisioned our future in those moments so pure
He is my soulmate, my heart said for sure

The time should stand still was my wish
I know I was acting childish

One last embrace and that will be all
For I have to rush back before my dad's call

Mesmerized by the thought of that beautiful evening..
I am writing this while his intoxicating smell still lingering...