Friday, August 5, 2016

Growing old, here and now.

A very close friend sent me an article about how 30s are going to be the best time of our lives. I read the article a few times and I could relate to most stuff about how you change when you get into your late 20s. You know like subtle changes, changes that don't happen over night but they do, quietly without making their presence felt.

I got thinking and I felt how much have I changed from being a naive 21 year old to date. For starters, I accept myself the way I am, no constant need of having people around or getting everyone's approval. I can candidly express myself without thinking of how I will be perceievd. Being self aware, being health conscious, being able to read your own body and emotions. It is incredible how one mellows down, how the vulnerabilities are not a big deal. Like 5 years back, if I didn't know a word or a topic, I would be ashamed to ask, but now the question comes naturally "hey, what does that mean" plain and simple, no pretense. You want to hang around with people who are real, you know with whom you don't have to put up an act, no farce, no mask. Real people, real conversations, real laughter, real tears.. You want to get back in touch with friends not colleagues or batch mates or seniors, because the whole point is that you have got this wonderful time, that you would rather spend with people who you care about.

Getting into a relationship also changes you in ways more than one. You are at peace, like being at home. You can go anywhere in the world but you want to get back home, that's what a relationship does to you. As you grow, you don't just care about yourself but your partner and not in a way that is selfish but in the most natural way. Like encouraging each other, helping each other, appreciating small gestures, taking interest in your partner's hobbies, letting go off the annoying habits, letting go of disagreements.

Time has its own ways of teaching you stuff. Your life-plans don't work, career takes its own trajectory, people change, friends become distant but yet, you keep going on. There is a new found awareness of life choices, consequences of decisions, things that matter, people you love and the way you want to spend your life. You don't make delusional statements anymore like - "this day, this year I am going to be the Head of my company" or "you are my best friend for life" I don't remember when was the last time I used the word best friend, because I don't want to trivialise these things. I will say close friend or dear friend or just a friend. A natural transformation  from an aggressive, I-know-it-all person to a stable, subdued individual who is happy for other people's success and grateful of His blessings.

The most real change happens when you see your parents after a few months and they look slightly different. It was my dad's birthday and retirement a week back and it just hit me. They are not as young as they were when I was in school or in college. Its strange, you just don't get to know where all these years have gone by. You suddenly don't want to fight with them, you just want to be around and available. It really happens. I made a small video for my dad and there were pictures of him from his very young days till date and yes, he has changed. Its weird, you are so busy growing up, that you forget your parents are also crossing life-stage milestones.

I have a lot more to say but may be a small note says more than a long essay.  Here is to growing old, to growing wise, to becoming a better person.

Love and luck.