Sunday, November 30, 2014

I am NOT a domestically challenged bride!!

When I blogged yesterday dear blog, about how life moves and priorities change, I was writing what is true for me, no way it compared with anyone else's way of living their lives. But today I am writing for a reason. I went through an article online about being a domestically challenged bride, which in effect talked about how a working woman should not be measued by her cooking skills etc. A working woman, the article argued had so much to offer like being worldly wise, being an advisor to husband and hence it, made no sense for the woman to take interest in trivial stuff like cooking and cleaning. Well, well, I disagree in huge measure. First, why should a woman be measured at all, working or non working. Isn't she a complete being in her thoughts and actions, if she reads a lot or a little, if she cooks or not, if she works in a company or not, should these be the deciding factors while judging a being, I think not.

The second and the more important issue I have is about how trivialised domestic matters have become. While, let me say upfront that I have a help who cooks and cleans for us but that in no way means that I don't take interest in domestic matters. I work for at least 10 hours a day, I like to read and write and I like trying out new recipes and keeping my house super clean. I  do it, not to prove a point but because I like it. It lets me appreciate small, simpler things of life. I don't understand this fad of being super proud because a person doesn't like to cook or clean. Please note, I have used the word "person" because it's high time, we stop stereotypes, like a working woman, can't cook or a woman who is not an avid reader cannot advise in worldly matters. While, I write this, my heart goes out to all those people who don't work and don't cook, how miserable would those people feel, worthless to say the least.

I have observed so many times that whenever I tell someone in my peer group or office, that all I did over the weekend was cooking and cleaning, people look at me with contempt. Isn't that funny dear blog, why should I always have to sound like this super ambitious girl who doesn't care about how a house is run. I care about how my house is run and so I devote some time every day/weekend to ensure that everything is proper. After all, it's our house, my partner and I are not doing a favour to anyone else by doing such trivial stuff but only ourselves. By the way, the same set of people who mock me for being "domesticated" also expect that their partners who are working and slogging hard in office should contribute towards domestic affairs. Why such hypocrisy?!?

I feel dear blog, that there is a tendency to exaggerate simple things. My mantra in life, is simple, if painting gives you a high then paint till your heart's content, if you like to cook, go ahead cook, if all you like is working , then do that, and if you are someone like me, who likes to do both, then so be it. It is not a matter of pride or shame, it is just a matter of choices! 

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Been so long since I last blogged, and do I regret it, each bit. But then I smile and say that may be this is how life moves. You know what I am saying, like life moves and with every move, every step, new stuff happens. You get involved in so many things, priorities change and most importantly, you change as a person. I am not sure if I have written this before, but for the past few months, I am absolutely obsessed with recipes, my kitchen, bed covers, cushion sets, grocery shopping et al. I don't remember in many many years while I was at home, getting fussed about such stuff. I used to think that I don't care much with what's cooking in the kitchen or what groceries shopping means! I used to give my opinion on bed covers and stuff but then that was it, no getting fussed on trivial matters.

When I got married, I don't know how, I got fascinated with everything that completes a house. I started taking special care to ensure that our house is spic and span. Even if that means, I have to let my chilling time take a backseat. I like it you know, while some people may judge me and call me boring about wanting to cook and clean over weekends, but that's what I like. It's difficult to say with certainity why I love cooking or cleaning but I do. We have a cook - Manisha, a gem of a help,  who makes all the meals for us, but I tell over weekends, that she can chill, for I am going to be the chef in the kitchen. The most funny thing is this habit I got, about asking AD what special stuff he wants to have over weekends. I remember when mom used to ask me the same question and I used  to be like, please don't ask me. It is weird in a very hilarious way, how I behave like the mom of the house! I want us to have healthy food, I want the wardrobes to be perfect, I want the cushion and bed covers to be changed frequently. AD helps quite a bit and I am not sure if he loves doing this as much as I do, but he helps, always, willingly .

Someone very rightly said, that happy time flies by. AD and I have completed one year of being with each other. Isn't that amazing, how we met, we became friends, he proposed, I said yes, we became lovers, the big fat wedding and then one day we were husband and wife, trying to figure out each other's eccentricities. I was still wondering about all the above, when it hit me, we have completed one blissful year! I tell everyone around me, get married, it will give you a dimension that you never had before. Get married to experience what togetherness really means. Get married so that you can belong to someone and someone can belong to you :-)

You want to take a guess dear blog, on why I could find the time to blog over a weekend, AD isn't home and what could have been a  better way than to spend an afternoon cooking, reading and writing! :)