Friday, November 8, 2013

Countdown

I honestly don't know where the past 8 months have gone dear blog. Today, a night before all the functions start, all I want to do is write to you, be with mom dad and talk to AD. My outfits, shoes, jewelery, pictures, invitations.. all seem to be taking a backseat. It is like this surge of emotions that I have been holding but they come back and shake me harder. I think most girls go through what I am going right now. Nervousness, trepidation, anxiety.. of what is in store. I look at my room with fondness that I have never experienced before. I look at my dad, as if there can be no man as handsome as him. When I go through what I am going through right now, I ask myself why, why on earth am I so worried, when I am marrying someone whom I have known for more than an year, someone who loves me from the bottom of his heart and has promised a thousand times to keep me happy. If it is not about AD, then why these jitters. I don't have an answer, I really don't. All I know, is the pain of leaving your parents sometimes overpowers everything. The uncertainty of a new house of new relationships unsettles me immensely. Please dear God, give me the strength to be calm and embrace the very scared marital bond.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Those wedding things

Its been a month dear blog since I last wrote to you and I feel like I am already a new person. Wedding is just round the corner and am I stressed or what! Whoever said that marriage gives butterflies would have been a normal person, just that he/she articulated the feeling much earlier for a whole lot of us to relate to. I know AD like back of my hand, but still stepping into marriage looks like this super huge task. Actually, I feel it is more about the wedding day than the life before or after. There have been innumerable times during these last eight months when I have been super ecstatic and excited about all the things that I was doing. Matching accessories with outfits, shoes, heels, makeup, dresses, venue, menu, dance practice, it is one heck of an experience.

I have discovered whole new markets that cater just to the brides-to-be. How when you enter those markets, you are the special one, how anything and everything that you ask for will be arranged for (of course with a huge price!) but well, its your time, your event and everyone does everything possible to make it perfect. I went to few stores to get accessories and there are 3 for whom I want to make a special mention - Much-More, BGs and Soni Sapphire. These stores have created imitation jewelry for every possible outfit that a bride-to-be could ask for. What exquisite designs and fabulous colors, such an exhilarating experience. Same holds true for the shoes, I have lost the count of the number of shoes that I have bought. Red, Golden, Silver, Pink, Black, I have bought them all but the greedy me still want to buy a pair more!

Its very funny the way I deal with things these days, some of it I have picked up from my work and a lot of it is because I am quite finicky! Like, I met the decor guys the other day, boy was I a pain, I sure was. What fabric, to what flowers, to what lights, to what cushions.. I bombarded them with thousands of questions. And the poor guys after having convinced me after 2 hours that they will pull my wedding off were asked to send a detailed mail with each point that was discussed. I also harassed the chef guy, what gravy, to what ingredients, I wanted to know everything, I just fell short of asking him to send his recipe book. Please don't judge me dear blog, I am slightly a control freak and when it is my own wedding, I have lost whatever little sense I had. Less than 15 days to go and I have so many more things to figure out! Tata dear blog!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Dance baby dance

Oh dear blog, how I have missed you intensely and dearly, how I wish I could write to you more often. How I could tell you about Udaipur and Manesar and all other fun things that I have done. How I miss, writing about people and places. About things here and there, of no major consequence to anyone whatsoever. How I could tell you that I still read and write but only and only about weddings. I know I sound a bore, but do I care, nope I don't!

My latest fascination dear blog is getting all my family and friends to dance. I am such a demanding bride to be, that I sometimes wonder how my loved ones are coping up with me, but well they are, and must I confess, they are doing it superbly well. Someone once commented that how in a wedding everyone dances and eats and enjoys and how the bride and groom sit in a corner looking constipated and tired. I was so aghast at this that I said, those must be stupid people. In a wedding, if someone is real happy then that has to be the bride, groom and their respective parents. So, I decided that day, that I am going to be a dancing bride. I will dance till people come and tell me that I need to pose for pictures too and sit pretty even if that's just for name sake. In my madness of shopping, researching, planning and some more shopping, my lil sis didn't let this take a back seat and I am just so happy about it. She takes out time everyday to speak to the choreographer, list down songs, coordinates with everyone. I am a dance enthusiast and so its ok for me, but can you imagine I have convinced mommy, daddy cool and AD. I mean its no mean feat. All three are quite boring, non dancing people but then they love me and well what all can love do to a person!

The other day, when I came from work, tired and dead. I rang the doorbell and saw a tall handsome man shaking a leg on a Dev Anand's classic. Joy filled my heart and I was overcome by emotion. I clapped and laughed and encouraged till my parents got their steps right. It was with such intensity and cuteness that my daddy cool was trying that all I wanted to do was sit and watch him dance for the rest of my life. If daddy cool is doing his best, AD is not far behind either, he very enthusiastically looks up for songs, gives his inputs and is actually wiling to spend an entire day dancing with me. I am blessed dear blog as always with so much of love around :)



Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Bridal beauty :)

Dear blog, you do know how structured I am as a person, you give me any task and I will do lots of planning and research before I am convinced. For more than a month, I read reviews, checked websites, scrutinized blogs, flipped though pictures and then swoosh I went, place to place, scheduling and meeting my potential make up artists! My mom told me about the ones she heard of namely - Vidya Tikari and Ambika Pillai. I wondered, how come all the beautiful brides out there get catered to by just 2 women. So, I decided to make my own list of makeup artists and meet them and understand if she is the one. I must tell you, how amazed I was with the experience and professionalism that each of the makeup artist I met displayed. But, even after that, I wasn't convinced about whom I wanted to lend myself to. Yes, it is almost like lending yourself, because you are just a canvas for the makeup artist to paint you the way he/she likes. It is quite a decision, I feel, as crucial as any other thing but guess what I think I am sorted. I have met someone whom I really liked. Her style, her reviews, her makeup, everything suited me perfectly and so I booked her.

For once, I thought that I won't mention and recommend because makeup artist because it is really a personal choice but then I can't keep secrets so here I go with my suggestions.


  • Simran Kalra - MY makeup artist
  • Chandni Singh - Most amazing and fantabulous makeup artist for brides-to-be
  • Anu Kaushik - Super expensive and super out of the world
  • Karishma Bajaj - Magic is what she does to her brides
  • Shalini Singh - Chic, stylish and uber cool
  • Looks, Lakme, Ambika Pillai, Vidya Tikari - Always reliable
That's all from my side dear blog. Good night and for the brides-to-be, sweet dreams :)

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

My precious - my lehenga! :)

If there is just one thing that a girl will fret most about, one thing that she thinks is the most important, one thing that makes a world of difference in her wedding then it has to be the lehenga! This holds true for most girls considering all of them want to look gorgeous and different and and all of that which her boy can ever imagine.

From the time, I found my boy, I have concentrated more on getting the right lehenga than on him, but then isn't that obvious.. first the right boy and then the right dress ;) Since I have got my wedding dress now, I feel elated and I thought I must pen down my feelings and store this special day somewhere in my dear dear blog. 

My primary search for lehenga started close to about 2 months back, before that I was into an online survey of what my taste is. Finally, today after having been to at least 5 markets and 15 stores I have picked up something that I really love. It is not an easy decision and you have to believe me on that. While I was finalizing my lehenga, a thousand thoughts swept through my mind -  "will the red colour make me glow", "will AD be mesmerized" "will this be elegant and not over the top" "will this look light and too delicate" "will it make me look slimmer".. It is like creating a background of your own memories and how can one be callous about it. The value attached to a wedding dress is inimitable and only a bride can relate to what I am writing. I have got dresses for all three functions and I am nothing less than super pleased with myself. Stress has given way to smiles, for my wardrobe is soon going to be the proud keeper of my most special dresses. 

Monday, July 29, 2013

Delhi Bling

I have fallen sick dear blog and you know why, because I am sooooo stressed out. My parents, in laws and AD all are very worried for me but what do I tell them that the super smart Neha Dua cannot handle stress anymore. Had it been a small tiny winy thing, I would have managed but this weight, wedding and work stress is killing me. Anyway, I had to take an off today so that I could go to the doctor and take some medicines. It has been a dull and extremely painful day so I want to enliven my spirits and thus this post is on my most favorite subject in the world - shopping, wedding shopping!

I began my tryst with wedding shopping way back in February but that was the casual shopping, you know I was just passing by and I picked up something. Now, it is an extremely structured, methodical shopping experience and it is quite wonderful.

This may be slightly maniac behavior but fact of the matter remains that I don't want to miss going to any store that has been recommended to me. I don't want to miss checking out any market which has been written down anywhere on the internet/print media etc. So, last month, I made a mental list of markets I wanted to visit before I finalize my wedding lehenga. I earmarked each Sunday to hop from one market to another and I am indeed impressed with the Delhi bling! In this post, thus I will list down the must visits of the Delhi.

  • Frontier Bazaar, Karol Bagh - Fresh and pleasing stuff. They have a friendly staff and a good collection of all the bling that a bride may want in her wardrobe
  • Anarkali Store, Karol Bagh - This is an exclusive store, the store may not look as fancy as other big stores but you name the designer and they have it there. It is indeed an art to go to Anarkali and come out empty handed so beware when you go!
  • Roop Sarees, South Ex - The name may actually not be a true representation of what all the store has. It has an amazing and elegant collection of suits, dresses, sarrees and more.
  • Malhotra, Lajpat Nagar - This is one of the blingiest places I have been to. Right at the crossing of Main Lajpat Nagar market, they have some of the most unique designs but go there only if you have a thing for bling!
  • Bombay Selection, Noida - My roka dress was from Bombay Selection and thus I will have all the good things to say about these guys :)
Oh, by the way in this shopping update, I forgot to mention that last week I was in Jaipur and it was an amazing amazing weekend!





Friday, July 5, 2013

The place I will take the vows

Suddenly, dear blog I have many many things to write about. it is not that they have erupted out of somewhere, but its just that I have decided to share them right here, right now. It was sometime in February, my wedding date got finalized and the day my daddy cool was convinced that his daughter is going to be a pretty bride (yes, I am in a mood to call myself pretty :D) he got hyper about booking the wedding venue. Unfortunately, it was the same week that I had to travel for work and he missed me more than anything else! As soon as I was back, I was bombarded with the menus and venues for my wedding. The finicky freak I am, I wanted to visit all of Delhi before taking a call and daddy cool acted it was as if the whole of Delhi will be pre booked 8 moths in advance! So, we started hopping from this place to that. In a matter of 15 days, all the venues between Vaishali and Chhatarpur were on our finger tips and hence I shall share my wisdom of what to do when you book a wedding venue.

First things first - know your budget and your taste! I believe budget is self explanatory, but taste isn't. By taste, I mean what at feel level you prefer. An indoor wedding or on outdoor wedding? Most other things like decor, menu can be managed but the outdoor - indoor is a personal choice and hence one should go with clarity in the mind. I am a very indoor person generally but I prefer outdoor weddings any day. And if you are also an outdoor wedding person then following are in the must-consider list:
  • Maple Exotica, Chhatarpur - This place is spacious, good looking and has an elegant feel to it. It has a wedding lawn which is neat and can be decorated beautifully
  • Tivoli Garden, Chhatarpur - Tivoli is synonymous with weddings and not without a reason. It has an aesthetically designed entrance and generally has a sophisticated feel to it. They have three wedding lawns of different capacities and thus can cater to different requirements
  • Oodles, Chhatarpur - This was by far the cutest place for a wedding. If you have a gathering of say 250 people then it is just perfect. They have a place next to the swimming pool which looks stunning.
  • Mallu farms - If you choose to ignore the name then trust me dear blog it is an awesome venue. And if you are a sucker for larger than life things then you will love this place. Grand is the only word which can describe it well.
  • Country Inn and Suites - This is a luxurious place and is a charming wedding venue. The added advantage with Country Inn is the brand, which will add a little more oomph to your wedding.
  • Fortune Park, Chhatarpur - Yayyyy! ok, so this is where I take my wedding vows! Do I need to say anymore :)
Apart from the ones mentioned above, I have visited and researched on at least 15 more places but then they don't make the cut so well this is where I close this post with a final piece of advise. Book your wedding  venue only when you are convinced about it, after all you will have a host of memories to carry along :)



Sunday, June 30, 2013

Photographer done! Wohoooo!

My dear blog, you have reasons to be grumpy and all that, but believe you me blog I have so many things to plan that I don't get to write any more. Knowing me, you would know how much I fret over small things and now when my wedding is just about 4 months away, I am going hyper crazy! Anyway, today I am not going to crib but going to tell you a good news and the good news is that my photographer is done!! I would have searched over more than 20 - 25 photographers. From candid to the standard ones, from the amateur to the professional ones, I went hunting for weeks and now because I have invested a lot of time and energy in finalizing my photographer, I want to detail it out for other brides/grooms who may be still hunting.

First things first, you must figure out what is that you are looking out for. A photographer who will click you with your family, with your soon going to be better half in poses old and new or a photographer who would look at details which you and I may easily miss say for example the preciseness of your nosepin or the curls in your hair while you have butterflies in stomach. If you ask me what is in vogue then it is the candid photographers who will capture a whole lot of real moments. But again, its a very personal choice, I still know a lot of people who don't want to miss out on the colors of a traditional photographer.

I will in this post try and list down the hugely popular and extremely talented photographers whom I have personally spoken to after having gone through many many websites:

  • Ramit Batra - He is amazing with couple shoots and his forte lies in clicking the girl and the boy in their romantic private moments. He comes of course with an expensive price tag but then if you are ready to preserve your memories in a diamond clad album, he is a must check out.
  • Tarun Chawla - Tarun is a known brand in the Delhi shaadi circuit. He makes each of his brides look lovely and real. He is again a tad bit on the higher side of the price range but people who have hired him recommend him highly.
  • Vikram Arora - I have seen Vikram on a friends wedding, he goes that extra mile for his clients and is a thorough professional. Some of the pre wedding shoots are fantastic. He is slightly reasonable when compared with the above two photographers but is quite talented
  • Phototantra - Phototantra is the one of the most coveted photographers. They are available for shoots pan India and are featured many a times on the wedding blogs and sites. So, if you are looking for a brand to talk about along with pretty pictures, Phototantra is the place.
  • Dreamweavers - Yayyy! Okay, so before you wonder why am I so excited about the Dreamweavers guys, it is because these guys are going to cover my wedding. I may be slightly biased towards then but their pictures totally got me hooked. Their pictures are bright and beautiful. They create magic and customize as per clients expectations! 
  • Sharik Verma - I haven't really had the opportunity to get connected with Sharik but I have gone through the albums and pictures he has clicked. He brings out all the masti which goes about in an Indian wedding, if you are a fun person and want to keep happy memories, he is sure recommended
  • Shivani Garg - I spoke to Shivani even before, my wedding date got finalized. She hasn't done many weddings till now but whatever she has done speaks volumes about her. Her pictures can just talk and make a person smile and go awwww! Shivani doesn't charge a bomb and is very sweet.
  • Aditi Photosynthesis - I think the list has already expanded and gone beyond what I had thought but I cannot close the blog without mentioning Aditi. Aditi's pictures are amazing and you must have a look before you decide on who is going to cover your big day!
Well, that's all for today but going forward I will post more experiences under the wedding diaries section. Tata! Keep smiling :)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

10 years since school!

I had this realization last week dear blog that I am kind of old. I passed out of school in 2003 which is like really a decade. I was a kid back then, I didn't think of myself as a kid then but thinking of it now, I really was a kid, much more of a kid than what today's youngsters are.Its slightly amusing how kids overgrow people their age at some or the other point of time. Like my mum used to often say about me, that I am quite a grown up as compared to what she was when she was 18. And these days when my cousins - twin boys were home, they seemed quite ahead of me at just about 15. It is amusing when I overhear them, they talk openly about stuff which I would have spoken about in hush voice after having passed out of post graduation!

Anyway, coming back to where I started - 10 years after school! Like really, I pinched myself twice after having realized that's true. It was a different era, I was a happy and bright girl in the cocoon that I had grown up in. I still am happy but don't know the bright part of life, since have met way too many people who are way too much bright as compared to me. I still remember distinctly talking about career choices that point in time, I was quite confused by any measure given that I chose different vocations at different hours of the day but I sure was committed to getting a good education. I did manage to get that (or so I believe) but well school was school. A lot of things which have stayed with me are the things which I learnt at school. A lot of friends that still care for me are the ones I made at school. A whole lot of fond memories are sure from my school days,

It is often that I see, people talking about such charmingly sweet things, like the other day a colleague of mine spoke about a choir she was part of and how proud she felt about it, I talked at length about the innumerable times I used to monitor the class and felt smug and then the classic - AD told me about how the first ever woman he had a crush on was his English teacher! It is indeed not a coincidence that school days will always warm up hearts and bring smiles on faces, even after many many decades!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Relatives! Whats that?!

I know dear blog, I am going to bore you to death by my endless planning and wedding news but please bear with me, its once in a lifetime event. And, I don't know if I have told you - I am a very wedding person, which means since childhood, all I wanted in life was to get married. When I was about 8, it was my younger Mamu (mommy's brother) who got married. How happy I was, I still remember, so many relatives came to my Daddy Ji's (mommy's father) house. We had a huge drawing room and everyone would come, dress pretty, sing songs, dance, eat loads and sleep giggling. I LOVED it, immensely and thought that my wedding would also be such. But to my huge surprise and slight disappointment, we don't have enough relatives and whatever few we have, would have to be coaxed into singing and dancing and would definitely prefer privacy of rooms to sleep and not some common living room type of arrangement.

Last month, when I and mommy sat down to list the close relatives we have, we could count them on our fingers. Only 4 families of 4 people each and my grandmom. That's about it. What to do dear blog, both my mom and dad are 3 siblings each and thus even if I want a house full of 100 people, I can't get. I will still manage with the fewer number of mamu, mami, chachu, chachi and young cousins that I have but what will happen in my next generation. In the wake of country running its population control agenda and families increasingly adopting the 1 child norm, there would be no relatives to invite for the weddings. The girl/boy whoever is getting married will be the sole person to sing, dance and be jolly. Damn! the new ways of life!

It is not just the number of relatives which has decreased, there is a whole lot of other changes which I see. Everything is so planned and systematic. You can't just put on the music and start dancing, lest it may disturb the neighbors; there will be a time and place for everything. There won't be sweets which the trademarks halwai used to make, there will indeed be packed and decorated boxes from one of the known sweet shops. There wont be cousins younger or older, clicking pictures in the way and manner they like, but professional photographers giving tips on candid moments. Don't mistake me dear blog, I am very keen on all of this, I just wish I had few more relatives - masis, buas to indulge me a little more. Oh! the greedy me! :D


Friday, March 29, 2013

The Walled City

Did I tell you dear blog, with getting engaged there are a lot of exciting things that happen to you. And of all those exciting things, the best is that you get to shop as much as you want. No one, gives you the you-better-stop-this-shopping-business looks, in fact on the contrary, you are encouraged to buy more and more! Today in this endeavor I, mommy and aunty (mom's friend) went to Chandni Chowk - the walled city. I had heard so much about its cloth market that I had to go. We reached and were almost taken aback by the swarm of people shoving, pushing each other to take us to their shop. I don't know, how they knew that we were out there to look for sarees and suits. We managed to get our way through and went to this one shop recommended by mom's friend. We bought some stuff and hurriedly rushed towards the famed "Paranthe wali gali" It wasn't difficult to reach there but what was really difficult was to get a table oops chair to yourself where one could sit and eat. Once there, you don't have a choice, the guy coordinating for the people in queue told us to take the last corner bench and with us, he sent a family of three to occupy the bench in front of us and as you can imagine, the 6 of us were to share the table. It was slightly weird to share a table with an unknown family, to overhear food time conversations of a family while genuinely trying not to intrude. All six of us, occasionally smiled at each other while trying to figure out what to order from at least 20 varieties of paranthas. We ordered for an eclectic mix of paranthas and they ordered theirs, traditional, tried and tested. Paranthas were delightful and we almost forgot the setting we were in. We paid to the same guy who had arranged for the bench for us and then tracked our way back to the metro station. Enroute, I saw a Kulfiwala and decided to have that too. The kulfi was lip smacking and happily we came back. It was once I reached near Mayur Vihar that I realized I was in Walled City for I could only recollect the huge walls which surrounded us from every corner. Oh the old charm of my city! :)

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Happy Times!


Dear blog, its been quite some time since I last wrote to you. A lot of stuff in my life has changed, I want to tell you all of it but that would be long and you may not appreciate everything. So I will try and squeeze the major things in this post.

First things first, I got engaged! Yayy! And the very lucky guy who got engaged to me is AD. I have known AD now for almost 8 months and he is as good as someone can get. Humble, caring, loving, possessive, responsible, funny, passionate, charming..  the list goes on and as you can rightly guess, I am absolutely smitten by him. Our story is a story quite filmy and how can I not elaborate on it.

Like all parents, my mommy and daddy cool were relentlessly trying to find a good boy for me. And in this pursuit of theirs, I met AD, it was this Sunday in August, we met at CCD and then he came to my place. He came across as a decent, nice guy but then you know marriage is marriage and I just could not think of saying yes to him in first go. He took me for dinner the next day (with due permission from our respective parents) and said YES! I was in such a soup, how could I agree to marry a guy whom I have met for a sum total of 3 hours if not lesser. So I applied my golden rule, when in doubt say NO! I did, but coyly, also put a remark that I want to know him better. That was the beginning and from the total of 3 hours to a total of 300 hours was touched in no time. Long endless phone calls, full day dates (occasionally, since he is Bangalore), sharing everything, knowing each other in and out. We became best friends of sorts. He was in love with me and I knew it very well. I just didn't know that I was in love too. It took me 5 months to realize that I am in love too. The realization dawned and then there was no looking back. We told our parents who were still on look out for us. They heaved a sigh of relief, smiled, hugged and blessed us. 

Its been a roller coaster since then, all our time goes in either chit chatting or planning when we will meet next. He has let go off his running, football and I have let go off my writing and reading but I guess its ok. And its ok because we are happy where we are, we are happy with each other and we are content in the way our days pass by. It is a beautiful feeling dear blog to be in love, to be loved, truly and unconditionally.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Honey, get the money!

I went to a very renowned eye clinic today - (Center for Sight, Safdarjung Development Enclave), after having procrastinating for an year and guess what would have happened. No no, my car didn't break down, I didn't get stuck in a traffic jam, I didn't forget to carry my eye reports BUT BUT BUT I forgot to carry money. I didn't care much, because I had gone with dad so anyway I am not supposed to spend when I am with him. But what if I tell you that he had just 500 bucks in his pocket and we figured out that we had to pay Rs 3500 to the doctor for a battery of tests and consultation. We thought and thought a little more, we were carrying no cards - debit/credit, there was a Bank holiday and we practically knew no one in that area.

What could we have possible done, let go off the appointment, go back home and come back later. I and dad cursed ourselves for at least 10 minutes when I decided to request, just in case. I went straight to the person at the billing counter and checked with him in case internet transfer is possible, he said, it wasn't. I told him our embarrassing situation, he said he will connect me to someone who can take a call. So, I was handed over to the manager of the clinic, she really didn't know what to say and apologetically told me it wasn't possible. She paved way for me to go and request to the CEO. Yes, yes the chain has a CEO and all that. So I meet the distinguished Dr Alka Sachdev, she was appalled and asked if this was a pre planned visit, I said yes and then looking towards my dad said "You are her father". She almost said it through her eyes, "How can you guys not carry money". She asked me some hypothetical questions about what would we have done, if our car would have broke down and so on. I wanted to say, would have requested the same way we are requesting now. Anyway, finally she said Dr Mahipal Sachdev (the doctor I had to consult and her husband) will not be available post 3 so we can't really go and come back. She also said it wasn't possible to start my testing till the time a receipt number is entered in the system. We almost felt dejected and thought that the day was wasted. Tomorrow and day after the center was closed so I was particularly sad as I didn't know when I could visit him next. Dr Alka Sachdev, saw our disappointed faces and offered help; she would pay for me for a couple of hours, testing could start and dad could get the money. We were elated and thanked her profusely.

Today, I felt for the first time how difficult life can be without money. It is just so difficult to explain why you would't have money or why you would pay back whatever amount is lent. Wherever you go, whatever you do, you need money. People will tell you politely or harshly, but they will tell you - honey, get the money!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Ummm.. I am happy dear blog. You know being content and at peace. It is a blessing to feel the way I am feeling right now. Nothing bothers me for long and mostly I smile.

I haven't read in a while, neither have I seen any movie nor I have been regular with you but I am sure you understand.

The only two constants in life being winters and work :) :(

More later
Love.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Home alone :|

I have been missing you dear blog and you know that right. Yes, I am slightly selfish and so without giving you any updates, without wishing you new year and without telling you where I have been, I will start to write about how I am feeling right now. But, trust me, we will do the pleasantries later, for now, I am feeling lonely and I need you to just hear me out. Will you?

Mom dad have gone to Mumbai this Saturday as my grand mom isn't well. They asked me many times over, if I will be able to manage, I chuckled and said "of course, I am a BIG girl" which technically is correct. But one day later, I almost sobbed with anxiety. Can you beat that? Believe you me, dear blog, age has absolutely nothing to do with being able to manage alone at home, trust me, nothing. I am as vulnerable and cranky, as I was when I was 5.

I don't watch TV but just to be on a safer side, I came back from work and switched on the TV, I struggled for at least 10 minutes before I could see anything whatsoever. My TATA Sky TV behaved like those yesteryear's Doordarshan which used to take a break after every 5 minutes of entertainment. Then, I rushed to turn on all the lights but any points for guessing that the first tubelight I laid my hands on, just kept flickering and I gasped with fear. Thank God, for AD was on call all this while, trying to soothe my nerves and make me smile. He insisted that I drink a glass of water and first have my dinner. I did, as he said but had no appetite or inclination. (Oh! did I mention AD by chance :))

Today, three days later, I am as worse as I can get. I can't sleep, neither can I wake up. I don't want to eat food neither do I want to watch TV. I only know, that I hate being home alone.