Saturday, November 3, 2012

101 ways to embarrass yourself

I have been quite a joker since the beginning. There have been so many ways in which I have embarrassed myself that I can't help but laugh. This time around, I thought I shall make a written note of all those super silly ways and then go about referring it as and when, I want to give the gift of a laugh or two to other people.

So, I begin with the most tried and tested way with which I have been embarrassing myself. It is none other than the great grand fall which can happen just about anywhere, anytime. I can recall at least 40 different places and occasions where I would have fallen, fallen without any reason whatsoever. Once, there was this inter school dance competition in which I had participated. It was a group dance and we had prepared real hard. We were waiting with bated breath for the announcement of results and it was this adrenaline rush, when our name was called out. All of us ran to collect our prize on the stage. I reached there, ecstatic and energetic, and when only 2 steps were left, I fell and landed myself at the feet of the guest of honor. I cannot express in words, how embarrassing that was, with a meek smile, I got up, took my prize and hurried back with shooting pain all over. This was when I was 14 and now more than a decade later, I am no better. I along with three of my colleagues was taking a flight from Mumbai to Delhi. There was some madness but nothing so spectacular had happened which would make one miss a step on the stairs. But, I missed and then went flying upwards and then downwards (damn, the gravity!) landed with a thud. Who falls on the airport really, but I did and with such a comical way. My colleagues rushed towards me, trying to help me and there was this lady who did her best to straighten my that leg which wasn't hurt. Just try and imagine dear blog, a grown up working girl (yes, I refuse to call myself a woman) crying and laughing at the same time because she fell and hurt herself.

Next is the embarrassment which comes by acting smart or sweet whichever you may like to call. I will elaborate on this point. It has always been my endeavor to never embarrass other people so what happens is that I try and be like the other person. For example - one aunty whom I met at my granny's place, asked me which standard I was in, since she asked this in Hindi, I decided to reply her back only in Hindi, I said sweetly "daswi mein", she gave me a quizzical look and replied, "Ohh, so boards this time". I am all for Hindi, but that time, it was neither required nor necessary. There are many more ways, like dancing like a maniac when everyone is sober and noticing you from head to toe, like taking noisy rhythmic hiccups in a room full of suited uptight people, like giving wrong answers with such assured confidence, like bitching about someone when he/she is still hanging in the vicinity, like smiling through lips but showing it all through eyes!

P.S - You may please contact me for the rest 93 ways to in which you can embarrass yourself! :)


theONE said...

Falling is no longer funny.
From now on, better be careful.

Neha Dua said...

Ashish - How I wish, that I wouldn't fall ever again. Dying in pain :(

Satyadev said...

Neha,This means average four falls a year from your first fall to date!
I also wish you should not fall ever again.
Prefer sneakers and not sandles when you travel.Also, posture correction while walking to change angle of vision.
Recover soon and take care.

Neha Dua said...

Jee Chacha ji, will be more careful!