Friday, August 24, 2012

Finding a partner of whatever - Part 2!

Remember, my dear blog, some days back I had written about how I have many male friends and how they have confided in me about the kind of partner they want. I had written about various things, some true, some partially true but a surprisingly huge number of my friends came back and told me that I had hit the bull's eye. They admitted to a lot of what I had written and obviously wanted to know about my thoughts on the other side of the story i.e what girls/women want in their partners.

I hate to admit it, but women species is a little more (please read hugely more) complicated than the men. Men are fairly simple, they can be stereotyped and written about without much ado, but, God save me when it comes to girls. However, I shall still try and give a perspective. This perspective like the earlier one is also an amalgamation of the thought process of the many many friends, foes and colleagues that I have. Ok, I haven't even really started and I feel how do I write ALL of what I know.

Let me begin from the most fundamental truth, girls really have no clue what they want when it comes to choosing a partner. They are as clueless as a 3 year old kid would be on being asked about rocket science, however they will never agree or admit to this. Girls will cover up and be as straight as possible when it comes to this topic.They will actually make a laundry list of traits which a guy should possess. Without exaggeration, this list will have 8 - 10 parameters including looks, height, income and even specific hobbies. Till now, this is all fine, the problem starts when they start evaluating the poor guy on all of these accounts, the guy falls short (literally or figuratively) and thus the girl meets the next one and then the next. This goes on for an insanely long period and then my dear girl suddenly starts saying, "I only need someone to take care of me and love me". This, my dear blog is only the half truth, because it is now that the laundry list has just been expanded. Girl is now jealous of another girl already in a relationship and mentally adds "love" and "care" to the earlier finalized 10 parameters. And in the meanwhile, the girl already in a relationship is nagging to the poor boy, about how he is missing on all of the 10 parameters.

It is funny but true, girls like boys also do not want equal partners, they literally want better halves. It is such a taboo for a girl to settle down for a guy who is slightly less educated (remember the laundry list), earns a rupee less than her, does not drive a bigger car or is not as fluent in English as her. It is super fun to just listen to a girl talking about her aspirations (yes, that's the word).

I can write no more dear blog, for I have already broken the sisterhood vow of keeping such stuff to myself. Please also note, that in the interest of this blog, I had to use the word "they" instead of "we". For all practical purposes, you may replace the word.


10 comments:

PradhanAbhishekCVG said...

To be sincere ... it's a rocket science for both the sides....That's what i feel.. and it's true that even boys want better halves.. :)

Even boys have a list/parameters .. but to be true we also try looking for things which we want to show....

It's like looking to the superficial we and they . but the inside is what starts hounding you after just a week itself if the decisions are based on these things ....

There comes a word ... people call it compromise and some call it understanding ... so this is a never ending process and never ending thoughts.....

So we can keep discussing this .. :) waise ...
..... Men are very egoistic by nature ...

Neha Sharma said...

just cudnt agree more.. Felt as if I, not u, have written this blog.. N sumwhr glad to recieve this reassurance that I just choose, act, behave and think the way I am made genetically.. Therez nothin more or less to it.. :)

vYes, Neha Dua, u've hit d Bulls-eye yet again.. :p

Ankit said...

Very nicely put, both true and funny to read

Satyadev said...

To all my young friends.
with all precautions taken and every one on both the sides putting best foot forward to get the partners of their choice, or the decisions taken by the family in your best interests in arranged relationships, in the end there will be many surprises as the destiny opens more cards one by one over the years!

Neha Dua said...

@Abhishek - :) I know, we are all crazy/hypocritical in our own little ways

@Neha - you too are a GIRL :P

@Ankit - thanks!

@Chacha ji - In the end, it is all about destiny :)

saurabh relhan said...

I really agree with "girls really do not know what they are looking for in a would be partner" and when they find one who fulfills all the requirements they want more.It is the primary duty of d boy to keep the girl busy with surprises,send her gifts more than her friends receive from their boy friends,sometimes place his ego before her desires.This just helps her to take the BIG decision easily.Even for boys even if their it is very difficult to take the plunge but when they put so much effort they feel they are making the right choice for them.

Neha Dua said...

@Saurabh - seems like you are saying from personal experience! :) Girls are all dreamy, starry eyed, little creatures. So find out your own way to woo your girl!

Nikunj Vohra said...

Interesting. Not sure what your guy friends told you, but most of us also have lists with 8-10 things - and while in theory it makes perfect sense, somehow it just doesn't work. I mean - one often meets prospects who tick off all the right boxes, but things just don't 'click' between the pair. And when people do fall in love - it's often with someone very diff from the 'checklist' or 'mental picture' they had. Don't think this has much to do with gender, tho.
BTW - can you share the link to 'part 1' of this thread?

Nikunj Vohra said...

Ok, now that ive read both posts, i get the smaller-half/better-half point u were trying to make. While it's certainly true for most ppl, i agree with the others who've said its a result of our soc conditioning. I know a couple who weren't allowed by their parents to marry for many years coz the boy n girl were equally qualified n peers at work. Ive had trouble explaining to my own parents how i want a wife who is indep, ambitious, and an intellectual equal. Such ideas make most ppl uncomfortable today, but i think things r changing with our generation.
(Pardon the typos- using a mobile device)

Neha Dua said...

Hi Nikunj,

I know what you are saying, the social conditioning as well as the parents thing!

Glad to know things are changing, indeed they are and I am sure for the better :)